HERE I AM

Here I am, for my promises 

The day which I have rises 

In darkened nights.

Mocking nights and jibed stars

I am alone, what for? 

Though you are bright-

In my heart every moment

and faint-

Your voice, your smile.

Author's Note

It is incomplete poetry, but want to know what you think. Please review it honestly.

Reviews

[just Penny]

Haha, I like the cartoon at the beginning :) Your poem has a good concept but sometimes the English needs a bit of work (like "what for's" which should be "what for"). I truly admire anyone who writes poetry in any other language as it's a hard thing to do. I like your last line - works well :)

[Saddam]

Thank you so much dear, it is great suggestion, must be work on my illness. I do that because of rhythm.

[Jennie Baron]

I think you received good advice from Penny above. Having read several of your poems, I love the sentiment and the imagery, but the translation into English gets a little confusing. Of course it is difficult to write in another language and I would utterly fail at it! That will only come with getting more comfortable with the language. I'll watch to see how you progress.

[Penny]

Hey penny! You are a replica. I am the original one...
Rofl.

[just Penny]

Another Penny ? lol ...Hi :)

[Shaquana Adams]

Cute and sweet. I enjoyed :)

[Saddam]

Thank you very much dear friend.

[Brittany Zedalis]

The photo accompanying this made me laugh. This poem doesn't seem incomplete to me. I love it the way it is. Great job!

[Saddam]

Great thanks for you dear. Glad you like it.

[Julie Spade]

Oh My God, i almost peed in my pants that photo is hilarious ! I love that this poem is short and sweet and most importantly how clear the message is .

[Saddam]

Thank you so much dear friend. I'm glad you like it.

[ANCIENTRUNAWAY]

That picture is just splendid , dear! Thank You so much for the request i am looking forward for more of your original and eccentric works of art you have prepared us.

Keep Calm and Carry On

[Saddam]

Thank you very much dear. I'm trying my best to be original. Great thankful for your feedback.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

"The day which I have rises "...did you mean risen? Anyway, I thought it's intentionally used to conform with the rhyme scheme...
Sweet in its conciseness.Keep writing!

[Saddam]

Thank you sooooo much dear. It is nice to hear you dear.

[maria ( rose)]

Here I am:)) I think it is a very sweet poem,,Enjoyed it. thank you for sharing♥

[Saddam]

Thank you so much dear.

[MsJewel]

It doesn't seem incomplete to me. It is short, sweet and delight to read

:) Julie

[Saddam]

Great to read your words dear. It make my heart dance. Thank you very much dear.

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

HA.. HA I just love the photo made me laugh.

Short and sweet is this new?
I loved these lines. BRAVO. Blessings

Though you are bright-

In my heart every moment

and faint-

Your voice, your smile.

[Saddam]

Thank you very much dear friend. Your words are so touching.

[s y e]

The picture made me giggle... nice write.

[Saddam]

I feel awesome happiness. Your comment made me crazy. Thank you

[Priyankaabhilaashi]

Good shot.. Keep sharing..!!

[Saddam]

Thank you very much dear.