HERE I AM

Here I am, for my promises 

The day which I have rises 

In darkened nights.

Mocking nights and jibed stars

I am alone, what for? 

Though you are bright-

In my heart every moment

and faint-

Your voice, your smile.

Author's Note

It is incomplete poetry, but want to know what you think. Please review it honestly.

Reviews

[just Penny]

Haha, I like the cartoon at the beginning :) Your poem has a good concept but sometimes the English needs a bit of work (like "what for's" which should be "what for"). I truly admire anyone who writes poetry in any other language as it's a hard thing to do. I like your last line - works well :)

[Saddam]

Thank you so much dear, it is great suggestion, must be work on my illness. I do that because of rhythm.

[Jennie Baron]

I think you received good advice from Penny above. Having read several of your poems, I love the sentiment and the imagery, but the translation into English gets a little confusing. Of course it is difficult to write in another language and I would utterly fail at it! That will only come with getting more comfortable with the language. I'll watch to see how you progress.

[Penny]

Hey penny! You are a replica. I am the original one...
Rofl.

[just Penny]

Another Penny ? lol ...Hi :)

[EmilyBianca]

This is an amazing inspiring piece of work.

[Saddam]

You are too kind dear. Thank you soooo much dear friend.

[Marie]

Sounds like you met G.H. too.

My condolances.

[Saddam]

Thanks so much dear. Glad yo like it.

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

Beautiful , just beautiful.

Kaze~

[Saddam]

Many Thanks to you dear.

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

Your very welcome. :-D

[A. Amos]

Sensible write with deep feelings and interest...good one

[Saddam]

Thank you so much Sir. Glad you found it deep.

[A. Amos]

Sorry post my words somewhere else, pleasure my friend

[Saddam]

smiles......

[Anita Singh]

The beauty of this poem is that there is no explanation needed. Some things are better left off incomplete. Nicely penned.

[Saddam]

Appreciate you word dear. Thanks for stopping and reviewing,.

[A. Amos]

Pleasure my friend

[00000000000000000000000..]

Cute sweet I love it:)))))))))))))))))

[Saddam]

Thank you most dear friend.

[sharonlee]

Good use of expressive phrasing ... Mocking nights and jibed stars.... leaves me feeling a sense of yearning.

[Saddam]

Well, Thank you very much dear.

[Simran Kewlani]

I don't find it incomplete. It is perfect.
I love the picture as well. (:

[Saddam]

Thank you so much dear. Many people find that picture pretty. Mujhe bhi wo pasand hai.

[AYVID N]

To me, this poem was more than complete. Thank you for sharing.

[Saddam]

Thank you very much dear. Aap ke baton mein jadu hai. My heart is dancing.