HERE I AM

Here I am, for my promises 

The day which I have rises 

In darkened nights.

Mocking nights and jibed stars

I am alone, what for? 

Though you are bright-

In my heart every moment

and faint-

Your voice, your smile.

Author's Note

It is incomplete poetry, but want to know what you think. Please review it honestly.

Reviews

[just Penny]

Haha, I like the cartoon at the beginning :) Your poem has a good concept but sometimes the English needs a bit of work (like "what for's" which should be "what for"). I truly admire anyone who writes poetry in any other language as it's a hard thing to do. I like your last line - works well :)

[Saddam]

Thank you so much dear, it is great suggestion, must be work on my illness. I do that because of rhythm.

[Jennie Baron]

I think you received good advice from Penny above. Having read several of your poems, I love the sentiment and the imagery, but the translation into English gets a little confusing. Of course it is difficult to write in another language and I would utterly fail at it! That will only come with getting more comfortable with the language. I'll watch to see how you progress.

[Penny]

Hey penny! You are a replica. I am the original one...
Rofl.

[just Penny]

Another Penny ? lol ...Hi :)

[MomzillaNC]

Intriguing and emotive lines. I think the cartoon in incongruous with the content of the poem.

[Saddam]

Thank you very much dear...

[MomzillaNC]

yw :D

[Kamari's]

Very emotional and great stanza lines great job!

[Twizzler]

This is good...would like to read the complete version.

[Mira ThePoetess]

I like it ...... it's short but hiding a lot deep inside

[lissalovesyou]

Please finish the poem.
I am desperate to read more.
lissalovesyou:)

[KimLove "The Beautiful ..]

I get it and could fly with it. I am in a state now where I understand what you ask. But you really should finish it, I love where it's going.

[Lonely Scorpio Girl]

Good poem with deep meaning. But why the cartoon duck? I would try to catch and roast it if the duck comes to me saying, "Here I am, now what?" Haha :D

[Kasey Miriam]

So far it is well written and has power behind the words. It reads a bit differently from your other poems. When you finish send me a read request so I can read the whole thing.

[writ rajat]

meaningless bad and unencouraging

[Penny]

The language.. yes needs a little work. But theidea is good, well delivered and the poem just looks fine lengthwise. I can relate to it, which brings it closer to my heart. Well done.

[Saddam]

THANKS MY FRIEND.... YES I AM WORKING ON IT FOR BEING GOOD.... KOSHISH JARI HAI...

[Penny]

Jari rakhiye. All the best

[Saddam]

Thank you friend....