WAVE

How it is strange wave?

Sometimes fast, somehow slow

The zealous is not waive

But it comes with all flow.

Reviews

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

Simple lovely and Elegant piece.

we have a zealous God Lord
for our love zealous is also protecting
but I think you meant it in a different way
but you made me think of Jesus Lord and
Savior how Zealous he is of us.



Beautiful stanzas lines here
zealous is a very beautiful word
I understand it very well.


The zealous is not waive
But it comes with all flow.


Thank you for sharing.


God bless. Benita

[Saddam]

Thanks a lot dear...

[Benita-Staebell M - KindredPoet]

You're welcome.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

WoW!!!!
awesome poem.......
great thought!!!
i loved it!!!
:)

[Saddam]

Thank you so much friend.

[armin]

Good rhythm,and elegant.
I enjoyed the piece.

armin. ..

[Great Aunt Astri]

Hello Saddam. I had to read this poem out loud several times before I could make sense of it. (English is a language which is different in different lands where it is spoken.) Then I thought the poem was rather good and quite profound. I would like to hear your reading it

[nazia]

Elegant... you write wonderful Saddam. its a joy to read your work :)

[Saddam]

Thank you so much dear, Its amazing.

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Simply wonderful to read those lines and rhythmic flow...Stunning!

[Saddam]

Thank you so much dear...

[Julia Mars]

Simple and elegant, nice work Saddam.

[Saddam]

Thank you so much dear..

[LawrenceRaybon]

Review for the 'A Little Joy' contest

30 words or less?
Yes!

Subject matter?
I'm not exactly sure, something witty?

Rhythm?
The rhythm feels stunted to me.

I am going to assume that English isn't your first language? I have a hard time following what this is trying to say. For example, you use both zealous and waive as nouns when zealous is an adjective and waive is a verb. You could change zealous to zealot which is the noun form, but I don't know what you could do with waive. Waive means to renounce or relinquish, I can't tell what you want it to mean or I would offer an alternative. Also, 'How it is' is really weird. Are you asking the strange wave how it is doing? And I would change the last line to read, 'But it all comes with the flow'.

I really, really like the second, "Sometimes fast, somehow slow," it is an excellent example of wordplay. You have talent, you just need to get more familiar with the language.

Thanks for entering the contest!

Cheers,
Lawrence

***Standard Disclaimer: These are my honest opinions and they are absolutely not meant as any kind of attack. I only comment on work that I think is good and only offer advice so that we can all become better writers. You are always free/welcome to heed or disregard my opinions/advice!***

[Ahena MK]

Nice... Good rhyme .. Fun read ..

[Saddam]

thank you very much dear. I happy that it make you fun. Soon I shall add its rest of part. thanks.

[Julie Spade]

Amazing poet , indeed! This is the definition of a short and sweet creation of poetry :)

[Saddam]

thank you very much dear. Listening you is a amazing feeling. thanks.