PROMISES

PROMISES

-

Today

Last day

Still coming day

I have my promises

With you for my happiness

Though without you I’m loneliness

Promise, live with your wound of betray

Promise, live without you as wind of eerie

Promise for remembering you in my rescue, maze, cry.

Reviews

[Sindu]

Nice format of writing, Saddam! I like it and the expressions too.

I am little confused with the last line... rescue, maze (?), cry ( may be some other word here?)

In eight line, don't you think wound of betrayal sounds better? Unless you want to go with the flow :)

[Saddam]

Thank you so much dear...

[ayesha gupta]

the agree with the other reviews, pyramid and content both are attractive to us , readers. nice job!

[Saddam]

Thanks dear................ Smiles

[Vaishali Roopesh]

Its a cool way of writing poetry. The pyramid. Wonder how you did that...? Great poem too x

[Saddam]

Thank you dear friend...

[David Scott]

You pen the pyramid of life.
The base is laid with our trails and experiences. Yet the pinnacle of every life is "today".

Very well done.

[Saddam]

thank you dear friend for your stopping.

[Vidya Bacchus]

This was lovely Ssadd.A very touching piece :)

[Saddam]

thank you dear friend for this touching comment. Love you.

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome :)

[Khushi]

The poem is really beautiful. Your rhyme scheme is perfect. Thanks for sharing :)

[Saddam]

thank you very much dear friend...

[Alicia Huntley]

I love how you structure this in a pyramid form like it is a build up! Thank you for sharing it is beautiful.

[Saddam]

thank you very much dear poet....

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A perfect form and telling truth, emotional and highly painful, well done, good read.

[Saddam]

thank you very much dear friend....

[MsJewel]

The form you used is perfect for your words. Simple and easy to read and allows your poem to flow. Great work my friend

:) Julie

[Saddam]

thank you dear friend...this is my first different kind of poetry, and your words gives me courage to do experiments. Thank you very much.

[Penny]

Simple yet profound. A nice write.

[Saddam]

thank you dear friend...

[Penny]

Anytime..

[Mary Steffen]

Very good writing and your creativity very excellent. Keep on writing I want to keep on reading your works.

[Saddam]

I will dear friend...thank you for your kind words.

[Mary Steffen]

you are welcome!