ONE SIDE LOVE

ONE SIDE LOVE

A Poem by Saddam
"

You livid me, with decision hard! But I'll spend my time, moaning you!

"

How can I prevent my heart!

Why I rebuke for looking you!

 

Your covered face with hair

Your twinkled eyes with little water

Your voice with blowing banter

And all act which seems me fare.

 

How can I all stop that?

You are saying it's over

But it will be end never

Always will be, far and near

 

In my heart, your image is saved and clear.

Not you, then for vision are what?

You livid me, with decision hard!

But I'll spend my time, moaning you!

© 2015 Saddam


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Reviews

I understand the themes you're expressing. However, the language needs much work.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MomzillaNC

9 Years Ago

I recommend you get a copy of the LITTLE, BROWN HANDBOOK for grammar. You can purchase it for most e.. read more
Saddam

9 Years Ago

Thanks man...... I'll get it.
MomzillaNC

9 Years Ago

YW. Good luck.
It's very painful when the love is one sided. You've very well expressed that here.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Saddam

9 Years Ago

Thanks dear friend.........
Good poem, could use a little bit of easy cleaning up, but I did enjoy! :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Saddam

9 Years Ago

Thank you dear friend.......
Needs some tweaking but very moving

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Saddam

9 Years Ago

Thanks dear friend.....
Love the flow. I too follow but you lose me when u say moaning you. The poem was coming out great till that part. Wonder if you meant "mourning". Is the love one sided because she's dead?

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Saddam

9 Years Ago

Thank you dear..............
there are many better things in life than love and all.... its a good write but I dont like the idea of being a devdas and thinking about a person who has left you... the one who leaves certainly dont deserve the attention....

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I can follow your thought flow but the English is really not pretty.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Excellent and beautiful poem! I loved it a lot!

Thanks for sharing SSADD!

-Anjana

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Awesome poem! I feel like many people can relate to this "One sided Love" you speak of!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It should be : One sided love dear poet
In my heart, your image is save(d) and clear. . But it is up to you.
A good poem...:)

Posted 10 Years Ago



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20 Reviews
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Added on January 4, 2014
Last Updated on February 24, 2015

Author

Saddam
Saddam

RASRA, BALLIA, Uttar Pradesh, India



About
I am from India, The place of heart. more..

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