A GIRL IN RAINY DAY

The day was Monday
Time was morning four,
For walk, I took straight way
Sudden, the day become dark-
And cloud began to roar.

A short of time ahead
Strolled cloud start to dropping
Soon as downpour, I took a shed
There, already, was one or two people-
Soon rain get stop, we were hopping.

In this impending rainy-foggy time
Any one was listlessly and want not come out
Far and wide, no one was there on line
Suddenly, a girl appear from somewhere
It insane me, 'cause road was empty now and
right.

I shook my head in hesitate
Girl encourage me,' enjoy the heavy rain'
All of sudden, I decide to follow her state
effectively, by degrees, I change my place
I saw her light foot and long pigtail, golden.

Impressively, she was walking wet
She making me passionate for her
Meantime, at the twirling side of road, that was
net-
Good sun, and she was out of sight
I was purposeless and without respond
Stunned, haggard and soaked without understand.

Reviews

[Ruth]

You create a vivid scene through your world of words...always a pleasure to read xo

[Lyndy]

Haha. :D Was the girl an angel? Nice poem!

[SN]

Am I the only one who thinks the little glitches in grammar actually give this an extra dimension? (I do, however, encourage you to give them a second look). Love the imagery, you brought us right into it.

[Dhaye]

That's a nice concept- girl in the rain. I have a piece with this theme, too, and I really enjoy poems about rain.
Nice!

[Anahat]

Its nice! I'd like you to work a bit on your grammar..and it'll turn out to be more beautiful! :)

[Sindu]

Well spun story.. I like how you described the girl and his captivated state.
It can be better if you work on grammar and structure. Did you translate it or wrote it in English?

[Skai Rain]

I love the way your wrote this poem. Beautiful. Well done.

[Saddam]

Thank you very much dear friend.

[hardeep sabharwal]

Very beautifully told the tale of a rainy day, it is simply fantastic

[brezybaby3]

It's good, and I like that she was encouraged to enjoy the rain

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

Simply lovely I love playing in the rain
it get's so warm here the rain is cold
and it is hot out that there's steam
coming from the concrete it is a sight
to see it is magical when it rains.

I love these Stanza's lines.



I shook my head in hesitate
Girl encourage me,' enjoy the heavy rain'
All of sudden, I decide to follow her state
effectively, by degrees, I change my place
I saw her light foot and long pigtail, golden.




Thank you for sharing. Blessings. Kindred poet