FUSSY MAN

Once a bird was flying

In sky, deep blue sky, alone and freely

Nothing objection was there

Her wings was keen to collect the sky

Every direction was full of happiness.

She cheeps and twitters in joy

A freedom song, she always sings.

 

One day, she was plying with endless sky

Suddenly, a sound of fear came

A fussy man frantically shot her

Poor bird came down to the earth.

 

The culprit, jibed for her fly

The jealous man broke her wings

He deplume her every feather

And left her impatiently

....and poor bird got accused to death.

Reviews

[MomzillaNC]

Interesting imagery. Jealousy only every destroys. And, it destroys what was so jealously adored.

NOTES: You're writing seems to be improving. There are still many grammar errors, but your ideas and themes grow and show your talent more and more.

Remember: "Writers write always. Great writers read, then write."

[brezybaby3]

It good. I need to read more of your work to see the progression of your work. some grammatical errors but otherwise Good job!

[Blue]

I see the progress/improvements of your craft. Just keep going Ssadd!

[Saddam]

I'm trying to do my best. Thanks for all your encouragement.

[Penny]

You can experience the pain reading this piece. Also, one can interpret in many ways.. one of your greatest writes. Thanks for sharing.

[Saddam]

Thank you friend for your great words...

[Penny]

My pleasure.

[Julie Spade]

Each time I read your crafts I cold sense the determined and the passion you have within your writing. This poem has a lot of structure and interesting imagery! Love this!!!

[Saddam]

that's very nice of you dear....thank you very much. love you.

[star73]

Great poem love reading all your poems=)

[Saddam]

thank you dear friend...

[MsJewel]

Jealously can be so dark. You have described this well in this creative little gem Ssadd. Your poetry keeps getting better and better!

Love this one!

:) Julie

[Saddam]

thank you very much... i am trying hard and giving it more time than usual.

[Tina Louise UK]

So very sad..this has quite profound meaning to it also...enjoyed :) x

[Saddam]

thank you dear...

[SAYED THANGAL]

the first crime was done by man, sure he will continue , a good message was delivered

[Saddam]

thanks sir....doing and doing crime they do something big different crime too.

[SAYED THANGAL]

welcome dear

[SAYED THANGAL]

welcome dear

[Sami Khalil]

"The jealous man broke her wings
He deplume her every feather
And left her impatiently
....and poor bird got accused to death."

You are so right. Jealousy can be a killer indeed...Bravo