If Only You Existed

The only positive thing I've ever written. It's about the only thing I want in the entire world.

If only you existed, the world would seem brighter. 

My eyes would see things more clearly and life wouldn’t seem like a punishment. 

It wouldn’t matter if I wasn’t accepted by anyone else, as long as I had yours.  

The warmth from your love would help me to grow and become more than I ever imagined. 

And with you by my side, I wouldn't feel so afraid.

Don’t worry though, the door swings both ways.

I’ll dedicate my life to making you happy. 

Even though I haven’t met you, I already want to do everything I can just to see your beautiful smile. While I’m embarrassed of even letting anyone know I like girls, if only you existed, I couldn’t help but tell everyone.

Whether it be an honest compliment, a back rub, or that piece of jewelry you’ve been dying to have. If its in my power, its yours. 

I want you to feel like you can always count on me.

I also want you to know that I would never do anything to hurt you. 

Just thinking about you disappointed and hurt kills me.

Plus, I would never get intimate with a woman until I know its you. 

I just don’t want to be with anyone else.

If only you knew how much I’ve physically and mentally hurt over you. 

I cry over the fact that no matter how much hope I try to hold on to, in the back of my mind, you still seem like just a dream. I feel like there is absolutely no one that will ever find me attractive, or appealing, but hopefully you’ll prove me wrong. 

If only you existed, you could put all this self hatred and sadness I have to rest. 

Just seeing you smile over the fact that I’m in your life would cure me of all my insecurities.

If only you knew how hard I’m fighting for you. 

I have come such a long way in this past year, and even though I have a ways to go, I’ll do what’s necessary to become what you deserve. 

If we ever meet, I hope to god that you’ll think I’m good enough. 

I’m trying as hard as I can. If only you existed and we were together, I could die happy. 

If only you existed. If only.