All my Haiku

All my Haiku

A Poem by Susan S.

Shards of Tara seen
Between the bulldozer wheels
Damn Stubborn Irish

 

The world is so small
And it grows ever smaller
You’ll find each other.

 

 

 

Sharp blade thrusts upward
Muscles flex and release life
Breath flows with blood. Peace.

 

 

 

old age an
unpleasant way of
suicide

© 2024 Susan S.


Author's Note

Susan S.
I have been told the last one is not haiku. I maintain that it is. (see: wikipedia on "haiku") the heart is there and that is all I care about. If you can't handle a shorter haiku, I suggest you concentrate on the other ones. I made the last into a standard haiku and it was horrible.

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I agree with you. Fundamentally and inherently, any English translation or interpretation cannot fully achieve all aspects of the original Japanese form. I am no expert, but from what I've read, while the 5-7-5 construct seems to be the most-widely accepted/recognized format of English language haiku, there is nothing at all that says 5-7-5 is the only correct form. In fact, according to the Haiku Society (see http://www.haikusociety.com/englishhaiku/), some haiku experts believe a 3-5-3 construct is a closer, more accurate English implementation of the Japanese form. So, my friend, you are at least as correct as any of your critics. If they want to be purists, they should write haiku in Japanese.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




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The last one is most definitely Haiku. One style is to make it so short it can be said with one exhalation. It makes for a clear direct message. "old age" above is a beautiful example. The 5, 7, 5, rule is for the traditional style only.

Haiku is the most difficult for me... you have wonderful examples of what can be achieved.

Thank you.

Posted 12 Years Ago


I count syllables
Harp fingers measure pleasure
Losing comprehension

Posted 16 Years Ago


I agree with you. Fundamentally and inherently, any English translation or interpretation cannot fully achieve all aspects of the original Japanese form. I am no expert, but from what I've read, while the 5-7-5 construct seems to be the most-widely accepted/recognized format of English language haiku, there is nothing at all that says 5-7-5 is the only correct form. In fact, according to the Haiku Society (see http://www.haikusociety.com/englishhaiku/), some haiku experts believe a 3-5-3 construct is a closer, more accurate English implementation of the Japanese form. So, my friend, you are at least as correct as any of your critics. If they want to be purists, they should write haiku in Japanese.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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3 Reviews
Added on July 10, 2008
Last Updated on September 21, 2024

Author

Susan S.
Susan S.

Tacoma, WA



About
As with most writers, I've written since I could put crayon to paper. It is the one thing I would turn down sex to do. The only thing I do more, is read. ...and breathe. My genre is mainly english.. more..

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