This, That And You

I forgot to say this

I forgot to say that

I forgot to say please

Don't leave me yet

I never said this

I never said that

I never said sorry

For the time we met

I lost this

I lost my head

I lost you

So there's that

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

Liked the first two verses. They're spare, clear and communicate a lot. The last verse seems to need some reworking. The speaker's point of view is not clear.

[Lala]

Thank you for your feedback! I read my piece a few times and see where you're coming from. I wrote it with a specific situation in mind, so for me personally I can connect the dots (which is the case for all writers I suppose) but let's see if I can explain! There is the 'this/that' theme and with the last line I wanted to sort of make the last verse different/stand out from the other two yet keeping the same theme but bringing a different message. Saying 'so there's that' indicates for me a situation which is out of my hands, a sort of moment of 'okay so now what'. Idk if this made any sense to you haha if not that's okay but I wanted to at least try to explain :)