My Kinda Busy

I'm never busy

Yet I always am

But my kinda busy

Nobody really understands

It's not about making plans

I'm not running from left to right

Meeting people here and there

Never home with no time to spare

Because my feet are walking everywhere

I'm never busy

Yet I always am

But my kinda busy

Is in the palm of my hands

With my fingers I describe

The space nobody can find

Through written words I clarify

The busy that takes place in my mind

One behind closed curtains

Where I hide my burdens

Where I'm losing my balance

And it's not my intention

To live in this dimension

But it still just happens

So when I say I'm busy

It's not a lie or a myth

Because when I say I'm busy

I'm actually busy with;

Taking deep breaths

Running from my fears

Holding back all the tears

I have collected over the years

Telling myself I'm overreacting

Finding things that are distracting

Silencing irrational thoughts 

Calming a racing heart

Suppressing feelings that stray

All this to convince myself I'm okay

So when I say I'm busy

This is the kinda busy for me

One that nobody can see

It's not what you expect

For others it's hard to accept

So it's secret I have kept

But it's how it will always be

How it will always stay

How I will live every single day

Being busy with me, myself and I 

Because from your own mind

You can never run away