Change of Prayer

When I was little I used to pray to God

Asking for a perfect life, but in reality it became nothing but flawed
I always envisioned my existence as a thrilling expedition
But currently it seems more like a competition
Whose troubles are the worst
Whose existence is more cursed
I used to have a desire to assist
Until my own feelings were always dismissed
An overwhelming sense of responsibility
Has lead to a feeling of invisibility
My body feels like an emotional library
Filled with burdens that are not mine to carry
And because life has started to feel so estranged
My conversations with God have also changed
Lately it is heaven that I began wishing for
Because my mind cannot bear anymore
Spending my nights laying awake
Because now instead of life, I pray the lord my soul to take