Turn My Light On

I want to talk, but I don't know where to begin
I just don't feel comfortable in my own skin
When I say that, I do not always mean my outer exterior
But it is within where I mainly feel inferior
To everything and everyone
I just feel empty, just feeling done
I don't have anything more to give
But don't translate that to not wanting to live
I am simply feeling drained
Feeling something that cannot be easily explained
I think my personality is changing
It feels like it is shifting, it is rearranging
That feeling is what I always try to reject
But sometimes I cannot help but disconnect
I always try to avoid it at all cost
But now and again, I just feel lost
I am at a point where I start to feel numb
And I don't like who I am starting to become
I will still be me, but the problem is you see
That I think it is not the best person to be
But I guess it is just one of those nights
Where my mind has turned off the lights
And I think that what I truly need is someone out there
To whom I can lay my soul bare
Who knows the right questions to ask for
And who has the ability to turn my light back on once more

Reviews

[Stefano Segnan]

Hello to you! I shell start by saying that the message is clear and easy which is good.

Secondly, the structure is somewhat chaotic: the rhyme may be alright, but the whole emphasis of the structure is on the ending word. Furthermore, the verses do not seem to have any order, long, short, short, long, long... Without a basic inner rhythm, while retaining rhyme, results can be chaotic. Even the musicality of rhyme tends to evaporate. This resembles free verse with rhyme which is kind of confusing.

Regarding punctuation, I am not really fond when it's almost lacking. This is something that depends on the reader, so this is neither and advice nor a critique, just a statement of what I prefer.

That being said, the imagery is vivid and well conceived, so really good work there. I enjoyed reading it, so, keep on writing!

Hope you find this review useful to you.