My Experience with Poetry

I am not a great poet, or even a great writer in general, but I do love writing poetry. For me, it offers a form of expression rooted in both anonymity and deep personal connection. People that read my poems don’t know my name or what I look like, and yet they can understand my innermost struggles, ones that I have trouble articulating out loud, and hopefully find solace in knowing they are alone. I know I always did. 

Growing up, at least in middle school and early in high school, I had a really hard time fitting in, or at least I thought I did. I was convinced everyone around me hated me, and I was sure I had zero friends. My self-esteem was nonexistent, and ‘confidence’ was not a word in my vocabulary. As far as I could tell, there was nothing wrong with my mindset; self-hatred was something I deserved. Then, by some miracle, I heard Sarah Kay’s performance of her poem The Type. It was a poem Kay wrote for her friend trapped in an abusive relationship, and though I knew it was not written or intended for me in the slightest, something about that poem stuck with me. The more I stewed over it, through many months, the more confused I was at her understanding of my entire being, my entire struggle. Even though I had never talked to anyone about my issues with confidence, Sarah Kay somehow seemed to know exactly what it felt like to base the entirety of your self-worth in the opinions of others. Something about her saying “You are not made of metaphors, not apologies, not excuses.” struck me in my core, and gave me chills all up my spine. Hearing these words spoken aloud felt like the first time someone had told me I was more than another person’s interpretation of me. 

I can’t pretend this poem cured me of my social anxiety. It didn’t. It took a therapist and pills and long nights talking to my mom. But I did keep that poem tucked away in my back pocket, pulled it out on dark nights when I had only the moon for company, and repeated it as my mantra. “You were born to build.” she said. Her words, though not the ship I rode on through the storm, were the brief streams of sunlight falling from between the clouds, telling me that this dark and brewing tempest was not infinite.  

To this day I still have a copy of her poem in my dorm room. It sits in a drawer next to Emily Dickinson and Sabrina Benaim, and other poets I fell in love with after Sarah Kay. I honestly believe being exposed to poetry so early on in high school made me grow as a person and helped to bolster me as I tackled a lot of inner demons. She doesn’t know it, but I consider her to be my guardian angel, and I just hope other struggling kids are able to find theirs with the power of writing. 

Author's Note

This is a little essay I wrote on why we need poetry in the schools. Not especially long, but I'm kinda proud of how much of myself I put into it.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

It's not just poetry we need in schools, it's poetry that speaks volumes not only in its message, but also in its craft - it's execution. Poetry that proves readers are not alone in their struggles, because all struggles are real, and it takes readers to make these poets live....it's not their writing. For readers are what introduce them to other readers far better than the poets can do themselves. I'm ocidiatic, and writing/poetry is my only way of properly conveying my thoughts, experiences, and other knicks and knacks kept within the deep recesses of my mind. And though there are those that understand and appreciate them, those who matter most don't at all, and that's kind of puts a damper on my self-worth.

To some extent, I relate to this essay. It may be short, but it's strong and engaging to the point of wanting more, and that's what matters most. This is a keeper. Well done!