New Shoes

I wrote this a long time ago, but I really love my shoes.

The first time i saw you,

My heart stopped for about a minute or two.

The first time i saw you,

It was like no other was around you,

It was just you.

It was like all the disappeared,

But then, I got struck by fear.

The thought of you not with me,

Is like the fish without the sea.

I'll suffocate.

The price was $49.99,

That fifty dollars,

Then I saw the half off tag,

My heart screamed and hollered.

My mom said i could get them,

The light light from Heaven came down on me,

The Hallalujah Chorus chimed in jubilantly.

The first time I saw you,

My heart stopped for about a minute or two,

Now I walk out with my new shoes.

Reviews

[Angel Bird]

Well expressed enthusiasm, like a love story with a happy ending ;)

[JC]

ha! great, simply great!

[....]

this is amazing! i enjoyed this write, like your flow and rhyme scheme.