A falling tear of sadness

The story of how I felt when my mother passed July 10,2012

My mind had suddenly grown blank, and it seemed as if the whimpering of the children and the dropping of the tears as they hit the marble floor, made a sound that tattered my heart. The sudden drops of hearts as we all were finally told. The gasp as everyone knew of what came quick to happen. Of how this was the last and final breath that she had strongly taken.
It began on a dark morning; the sun never seemed to have risen. She had begged for help, but all I could do was ask. What could I do? I’m a child I didn’t know of anything to do but ask. She laid her hand on her heart and asked me “Is it my time?” I didn’t know what to say. Fear shook my body, and I tasted a salty tear run into my mouth. It couldn’t be, it shouldn’t be, but is it really happening?
My heart was skipping every beat, my soul ripping apart inside me, my mouth forming to scream. But there was nothing left to do. As the room door swung open I sat and just watched the doctor cover my mother’s face. I stared into the glossy window, just to see the bright red sirens flashing by. I looked down long enough to see that there was a crack in the colorless marbled floor. I could only think of the picture that leaked into my mind, of the dull colored room. I can still picture the tangles of the tubes and the misplacement of the medicines. The solid feeling as I paced toward the atrocious sight of her body. The sound of the eternal BEEP!, that ripped, crumbled, and tore my heart into brittle pieces. Only leaving me to remembering that everlasting sound, that seemed to have shivered the soul inside me.
​Before the everlasting Beep! I could only remember when she was first told that she was to die soon. When the University rejected her, I knew it broke her heart even more. It was only a matter of time, before the day broke out. When she knew it was going to happen. When she knew it had spread. When she knew that it was about to take over the rest of her body, as it was to finish it’s course. She knew, but why didn’t she tell me? My best friend, how could she not tell me? The days as it worsened, I knew it was only to happen even faster than it was suppose to. I knew but why, but how, but when did this all happen? A turning point that I have to remember the rest of my life.
The only thought, the only words, the only feeling was that my mom was gone. It seems as if I have a piece of my heart that can never be replaced. As if it became a shatter piece of my soul, reflecting into a broken glass. A portion of me was gone, and replaced into a darkened world. And now I have to stand alone, without the love that meant the most to me. The love that I need, that I have to have, was taken from me when my I lost my mother.