Split Personalities

I had known all my life that I had split personalities...yet I didn't tell anyone...

I've lived all my life, knowing that I had a split personality, but no one, no one except for me shall know my own secret, not my best friend, not my parents, and certainly not my brother. I roam the city, exchanging between these two personalities, yet no one sees the changes in my eyes, because I'm invisible to them - nothing to them.As I wandered the streets, I stare at everyone, and as though feeling my stare, they squirm. I smile slightly, feeling the urge to jump at them, to follow them. As that urge fell away, a stronger, more tempting urge came. How good they would look with blood on their shirt, their head separated from their bodies. Their limbs torn apart. Their blood on the floor. I smiled to myself as I got closer to them, as I felt the knife in my pocket in my hand, the heavy feeling giving me a feeling of power. I smiled as my knife went deep into their backs, but as I heard a female scream, I snapped back to reality. The woman was looking at me in horror, what have I done? The male was gasping for breath, and as I look at them, a pang of guilt hit me in the guts. I should have told them about my split personality. I should have said that I was a murderer. I should have said that I was a stalker. I should have said that I had killed people. I should have told them. Because, now, my parents will never believe me again. They would send me to a mental hospital...and I wouldn't want that to happen, I thought, as I smiled. Oh, who cares about being sent to a mental hospital? Imagine the blood there...

Author's Note

This is another old one...Please tell me if I have any problems...~

Reviews

[Madeeha]

Hi Sabby,

I like reading this piece of writing. Some suggestions

1. Try to write in paragraphs. It is easy to read and understand.
2. Last line. "Imagine the blood there.." I want to feel it. May be the scent or color of it (My two cents!)
3. (As I wandered the streets, I stare at everyone, and as though feeling my stare, they squirm. I smile slightly)
stare, squirm and smile are in present tense!
It is a captivating piece of writing. Little bit of re read will help.
Best of Luck!

[Sabby]

Thanks for the suggestions~ :) I'll make sure to be aware of those in my next story!~