Lonely Day

waking up
on a day like today
trying to think of a way
not to feel lonely

 

standing up
don't even have the energy to pray
so back down I lay
please somebody show me

 

a new way to live
a way that for just one moment
I could feel happy

 

to wake up
on a day like today
and stand up
and meet the world gladly

 

but today
is not that day sadly
not a day
that I'm going to feel happy

 

starting to believe
that God
is only a placebo
loosing my faith
will it come back?
I don't know
beginning not to care

 

stuck in a stare
thoughts empty
though my feelings are so vibrant
even though my body
is seemingly lifeless

 

I'm too tired to care
but I've got to go
somewhere
to escape this life
pretending that for just one second
I'm feeling alive

 

taking myself to a place
where I don't feel lonely
just for my own sake
try and get to know me
again

 

bring myself back
to a day when I knew how to smile
forgetting about this world
just for a little while

 

I'm trying
but I just keep crying
don't want to look at my own reflection
as I crawl up inside for protection

 

where am I supposed to hide now
what am I supposed to do
please tell me
becuase I don't have a clue

 

I'm running out of tears
been doing this for years
thoughts no longer clear
wish I could hear

 

the sound of my own voice
when it used to speak proudly
and these negative thoughts
didn't overwhelmingly crowd me

 

so until then
I'll just sit here and wait
until this life shows me a way
to not live a lonely day