Another Manic Monday

waking up today
thoughts racing

 

a grip on my mind
still chasing

 

thoughts
scattered

 

feelings
battered

 

beaten down and broken
feeling inside

 

my vision
seems blind

 

careless
is what i want to be
far from it
is what i really see

 

paranoia
want it to go away
caring too  much
is what made me like this
today

 

what are they thinking
dont know
but i explore the thought anyways
take it too far
take it a million ways
a million directions
in only one second

 

so critical
of the world around me
but the most criticism
i place on myself you see

 

want it to stop
it will slow down eventually
but until then
i'll weather the storm
potentially...

 

 

Reviews

[kumars]

what a nice gathering of words i feel this is smiley great poem my vision seems blind. very nice.

[shawnt5604]

thank you!

[Lyn Anderson]

Clever and subtle rhyme scheme - I like it. Again, as the apostrophe detective, is don't intentionally missing the apostrophe?

[shawnt5604]

thanks, and yes intentional :( or should I say Im just too careless wrting maybe I should pay more attention to these things?

[Lyn Anderson]

Well, I guess that depends. Your writing is very good, and would look more polished if you paid attention to the little details. I am just never sure if I should, but the OCD in me makes it impossible not to. Which ultimately, either pisses people off, or makes them more careful, or both. And not to worry, you catch me, I am happy to correct, because I hate posting mistakes. :)

[shawnt5604]

I welcome the constructive criticism,,, no worries,,, and I appreciate your compliments, it's very encouraging !