Mysterious Women

There is a wise and beautiful women that appears with different faces at different times.

She is so gentle yet with strength, so fair.
Dancing through my mind with lovely finesse.

I do not know who she is
Her face changes with the weeks.

Real and imagined she is a transcender.
Who, where is she,when will I meet her.

Is she  metamorphosed, a resurrected dearth?
An aberration of that which has passed from earth.

Indecisiveness on my part, is her change of face.
I am emancipated from being bound until love binds with grace.

Love is a different kind of freedom with dignity.
More free then alone ,yet bound by responsibility.

Anticipation sometimes sweet,  sometimes sad.
Perhaps she will come and stay ,for this I would be glad.

Look over there I think I see her walking my way.
No, not the real thing, just preparing for that day.

 

Copy Right Rhea Crosley 09/05/2008

Reviews

[JohnL]

The profoundness in the thinking behind this poem is wonderful. Its message, though absolutely clear, still leaves room for deep thought within the compass of our own lives and situations. I have much admiration for your conceptions and look forward to reading them with pleasure and anticipation.

There are however, simple things you could do to improve the poetry. Verses 1,2,3,5 &6 do not attempt a full rhyme though there is a hint of a half rhyme in some of them. They are all excellent. 4, 7 & 8 however attaempt a full rhyme and all sound to my ear contrived, particularly 7 - sad/glad. I have spoken to you before about rhyming duplets. It is the easiest format to rhyme but possibly the hardest to rhyme well. Believe me, I've tried. If you enjoy the duplet form, and you seem to, and certainly make your point of meaning well using it, then try blank verse. As long as it flows and scans well with the stresses in the right places, rhyme is very secondary in duplets. Try also to develop the half rhyme (v.v.1,2&3) where all the vowel sounds are similar but not identical. Those verses work so, so well.
God Bless,
John

[Salvatore Buttaci]

I like your poem! Congratulations for being featured poet. You deserve it.

Sal

[Kal]

Very beautiful deep deep write!
It is well described and very full of sentiments...
Very nice art my friend :)

[Bhavya Kaushik]

oh! This is simply so beautiful,
Imagery is like always outstands for me which has imparted such a great essence in your poem and also helped a lot in raising its level.
Very creative and powerful piece of writing!

[Mr. Lopez]

I think that we all have these images of what love should and could be if only givin the chance. You leave your reader painting their own image and insert face here. Although the rythme might benefit from some work, the messgae is no doubt clear. The feeling that it leaves me with overshadows any minor issues. That ,i think, is by far more important in any write. Wonderful work my friend.

Mr.Lopez

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Great! sounds a little like my poem i wrote, "portal to my heart" except, mine is about a man. ha ha.
i like how you write two different stanazs in many paragraphs through the poem, and have them
rhyme so effortlessly. that is your signature style...
and it works for you.
thank you for sharing rhea!

[Blue Sky]

A real impressive write
when the essence of beauty walks by your life
the outcome revealed here, and so well written in form and style,
very nicely done!!