The Situation

This is my experiment with something on the order of a Rap song about all creations situation.

ALL of life teaches us we need to be clothed with an eternal condition.

A place where we are completely wanted without reservation.

We need a place that has total love with no intimidation.

Earth Boat camp sets us to be blessed without cessation.
Learning, without the Creator we destroy the creation.

Godless we warp life and good innocent fascination.

Earth that can't rid itself of self destruction.

Bringing just and righteous condemnation.

And yet, He in love offers us salvation.
If, you seek Him with determination.

Without Him is only infatuation.
Which leads to obliteration.

Ending having Revelation;
Praise, from ALL creation.
 

 

Copyright Rhea Crosley 07/08/2008 9am

 

Reviews

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Very nice stab of writing something in a "rap" form. hee he. But many people critcize rap, saying it isn't "art" but really, having been around rap artists, it does take a lot of skills and talent. It's basically poetry in a spoken form.

I like how you took a word, "condition" and took the last 3 letters "tion" and rhymed every ending word in each stanza. brilliant! the way you chose to write it, like a scale going down is easy on the eye.

i liked it. Bringing God into the picture, is always pleasing to me. thanks for sharing.

kena

[Mr. Lopez]

Rapp n' for the lord ! Very effective way to get across a very important message.


And yet, He in love offers us salvation.
If, you seek Him with determination.

I liked these lines . Very true very true. Good job.

Mr. Lopez

[DrumMajorPod]

O man.. I love this line:

"...without the Creator we destroy the creation."

The sentiment behind this line is so powerful and moving, if only we could contemplate it fully..

[Kaleidoscope Apocalypse]

This had a very interesting way of rolling off the tongue when read aloud. There was definitely an important message here, and I think you brought it to light wonderfully. I greatly enjoyed the fact that all the lines had a sense of rhyme. It is difficult to find a piece where every line is like this, but I believe you did an amazing job with it.

Wonderful write!

[Gandré]

We need a place that has total love with no intimidation.-----------right, in other words what I perceive: this is not the religion. such a determining line. so important here.

Godless we warp life and good innocent fascination.----------------goddless! Because we are gods. And we are going backwards, to get our innocence back !! wonderful line.


Earth that can't rid itself of self destruction. --------another amazing line: this is to think about. But see everyone.... ha, this earth will to bring about equilibrium. soon, soon. We ... won't like it.

Praise, from ALL creation.-------- this is also a line, what sticks with me. So many, and this is sad, don't see the creation. Poetry is alarming, screeming it out, what should be. I loved you did this here. Life is more than possesions, appearances, being more clever than the friend and ruining this wonderful creation we walk on. Every day die 100 arts of life, isn't it a catastrophe. Who cares, who cares. I cry, you too. I know. Superb poetry.

[Helen Woodward]

Beautiful Rhea, your deep faith shines through every piece of your work I have read and this is no exception.
I could sense the rap beat in it, that was a novel idea! I just wish that people would believe in him the way he believes in us...
Helen :-)