this poem seemed a little edgey for your style. Please don't get me wrong.... I loved it! There is so much that i agree with in what your poem says. So many spend huge resources og energy on being dishonest when, If they put the same amount of energy into spreading love , this world would be a batter place . Thank you for the write. GREAT!!
this poem seemed a little edgey for your style. Please don't get me wrong.... I loved it! There is so much that i agree with in what your poem says. So many spend huge resources og energy on being dishonest when, If they put the same amount of energy into spreading love , this world would be a batter place . Thank you for the write. GREAT!!
To walk in love is the key to everything,
but we are foolish and prideful
and we walk away from it rather than toward it...
from what is right... what is truth...
and for that we will have to pay the piper.
This is a great write Rhea,
addressing our foolishness.. our pride...
our ignorance.
Abandonment, in law, is the relinquishment or renunciation of an interest, claim, privilege, possession or right, especially with the intent of never again resuming or reasserting it.
The contents of your composition clearly captures this theme. It also reflect our human nature to never give up on hope and faith; for it is also said:
it is a nice poem that holds what the world is going through...
i liked this part (Like a firemen who leaves when he could have saved.
A surgeon prematurely walks away with heart in hand bereaved.)
well done man, i mean we really should start working on this tragedy that we're facing cause it really breaks everything upside down, i mean lot of ppl think of this tragedy as a solution and dont realize that it is actually not solving anything at all...
well done!
Interesting Raye, doing this in proverbs, it made for interesting reading and of course you gave it your own touch. I would ditch the surgeon line, it is too long and I can't imagine a surgeon walking away with someone's heart in his hand...even though it is poetic it just doesn't ring true...up to you though.
Quite a feat here...
Helen :-)
"A surgeon prematurely walks away with heart in hand bereaved."
That is a sharp sentence there. Very great metaphor, I loved that one the most.
You are right. Abandonment is a huge problem in this world, and I feel if we all held hands and loved one another, that we would all be happier and more healthy individuals. Even in the church congregations, when others ignore their church members, or reject them because they dont' "fit in," we are pushing that person away from God. I have never been the type of person who abandoned anyone because they were different, I don't abandon anyone. Bec I know what it feels like to be abandoned. My father was never there, and my last relationship abandoned me emotionally.
"Oh that we would all see Loves wise plan.
That we would walk holding Loves eternal hand..."
This is a great close to a great poem with a big message, that leaves us deep in thought.
The next paragraph is when I first started with writing on WritersCafe. Since then I have been happily married to Sabine my wonderful, beautiful godly french/American wife. Between us we have 10 Child.. more..