Whispers From Beneath (form change)

That which reaches up to destroy us and bring us down

                                            

 

Whispers From Beneath

 

 

There is a whisper in the night,

that shakes the soul and bleeds the heart,

opportunity you have missed, accusations unforgivable of eternal blight.

 

A spiral downward

an addictive torment made by craftily interwoven whispers against the soul.

A voice that sneaks into your head, telling of things lost forever,

destructive foreboding destiny .

 

My mind begins to recognize the vile source,

this devil has before milled through this course.

 

This voice I always did hate

and have learned to fight its presumptive fate.

 

I shall grasp within my soul a two edged sword of words

now glistening in my hearts dawning light.

I shall grab it and thrust it through.

 

That devil will scream and howl as it flies away.

Another battle won.

I have gained another day.

 

And yes this devil shall return,

but in fighting I have learned,

more words of victory I have found ,

more earned confidence, on higher ground.

 

 

Reviews

[Emily Rose]

An interesting and metaphorical look at fighting off our inner demons. I liked the idea of a double-edged sword formed from words - it's a very appropriate image since words can build us up or tear us down. I was unsettled by the constant changing in rhythm; you would begin a pattern and then quickly break it to move on to something else. Maybe it was the regular line breaks that confused me. The punctuation could use a bit of work, too, but I say that about 90% of the poetry on the Cafe :-)

Good job with this - it got me thinking.

Bravo Maestro!

[Starbound25]

haunting very nice

[Amanda Avalon]

Excellent work! True strength and courage displayed in this piece... something anyone could read to help them get through hard times! :)

[Lia]

This is a fantastic piece. Amazingly written, great work! x

[A.r. Bazian]

amazingly done!
wonderfully written!

"my words fly up... but my thoughts remain below...
words without thoughts... never to heaven go"

wisely written my friend... and i assure you... its heaven they're in!

be well!

[Jenny Davis]

I REALLY like this. I think that our own inner dialogue can be our worst enemy as so many of, including me, tend to down rate ourselves...self doubt is an awful thing and should be slayed! This is awesome poetry :)

[Rosencrantz]

this is truly a masterful piece of writing. a very dark, but glorious theme perhaps? excellent form, effortlessly poetic and artistic. =)

-audio

[Catrinka]

This is a great write! It held my rapt attention throughout, you have chosen your words well! My favorite stanza is the last one because it certainly speaks of how experience makes us stronger. Kudos to you!

[Pointblank]

Oh, I love this one. Every thing about it. Im saving this one for myself. Love it... Beautifully written.