The Day Of The Battle

Misguided warriors.

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The day has dawned the sky displays a beautiful orange yellow glow .

The sun slowly starts to raise its wonderful crest off the distant ground.

There is an amazing fearful song that plays within the heart of all the men as they look sun ward.

Excitingly they tremble with expectation.

     For to day is the day of the greatest battle the earths has ever seen

     and they know they shall win the day.

Their spirit is as one - like one man who celebrates a great triumph.

Out of many they become one as no other army ever has..

Intensely they focus on the prize - on the victory.

Today is the day of The Battle -

     the day of defeating the enemy -

     the day of securing bounty for there nations,

     to bring greater peace to all the earth.

They are sure footed ;

       they are confident –

       they will without flinching overwhelm and crush their enemy.

Unknowingly, tragically they are wrong ;

      for this is the Day of the Lord.

The day the earth shall shake and the heavens shall rain down fire.

This is the day that those who are held

       held by the spiritual arms of God

       shall be comforted by His rod and His staff.

The day when only those who know God in truth and spirit shall be delivered and hide in His mountain.

        Not only delivered but forever exalted.

               

Author's Note

Many battles on earth are battles of errors and battles of misguided loyalty. This is not in any way directed toward any particular past battles. This is more a warning of the future. As Abraham Lincoln said "are we on The Lords side"?

Reviews

[JohnL]

Who is on the Lord's side?
Who will serve the King?
Tune 'Armageddon' - see! I know the story!
This is a fine poem. almost a psalm in fact but leaning more toward the Revelation. If you want to make a statement about the coming battle, then it is quite effective. However, if you want it to be taken seriously as poetry in its own right, then you have a lot of tidying up to do. When you draft a poem, and I suspect this is a first draft, it will only demonstrate the ideas behind your thinkng. All good poetry normally goes from draft to draft, gaining something on each revision. Grammar, metre, spelling, rhyme if not free verse and even just the sound of the words. If you look in the notebooks of the leading poets, you will see a mass of crossings out, rewritten lines, dropped or inserted words. If you are writing free verse, as you are here, you look at the (somewhat intangible) SHAPE of a line - hard to explain, for instance, in line 2:
'The sun slowly starts to raise its wonderful crest off the distant ground' could be written:
'as, slowly, the sun reveals its golden edge from behind the distant hill'. - or maybe 'fiery edge'.
This is not to say the revision is better - it simply examines the imagery from another angle and offers a choice. Note the smoother transfer from line 1. In some ways, the revisions are the interesting time in writing because, having made the outline, you now have the opportunity to alter and improve the quality. All that being said, I enjoyed reading this poem as it is a subject close to my heart. I have actually beento Armageddon when I was in Israeel.

John

[JohnL]

Who is on the Lord's side?
Who will serve the King?
Tune 'Armageddon' - see! I know the story!
This is a fine poem. almost a psalm in fact but leaning more toward the Revelation. If you want to make a statement about the coming battle, then it is quite effective. However, if you want it to be taken seriously as poetry in its own right, then you have a lot of tidying up to do. When you draft a poem, and I suspect this is a first draft, it will only demonstrate the ideas behind your thinkng. All good poetry normally goes from draft to draft, gaining something on each revision. Grammar, metre, spelling, rhyme if not free verse and even just the sound of the words. If you look in the notebooks of the leading poets, you will see a mass of crossings out, rewritten lines, dropped or inserted words. If you are writing free verse, as you are here, you look at the (somewhat intangible) SHAPE of a line - hard to explain, for instance, in line 2:
'The sun slowly starts to raise its wonderful crest off the distant ground' could be written:
'as, slowly, the sun reveals its golden edge from behind the distant hill'. - or maybe 'fiery edge'.
This is not to say the revision is better - it simply examines the imagery from another angle and offers a choice. Note the smoother transfer from line 1. In some ways, the revisions are the interesting time in writing because, having made the outline, you now have the opportunity to alter and improve the quality. All that being said, I enjoyed reading this poem as it is a subject close to my heart. I have actually beento Armageddon when I was in Israeel.

John

[Sarah]

Great description. Your language was very epic, seemed almost like a prologue to something more. Great job!