Dark Thoughts

Depression is the suppression of one’s expression.

It’s repression, discretion,

In an attempt to hide the oppression of aggression,

and it’s transgression.

There is no hope,

No way to cope.

They need a blessing,

But all they want is a rope.

To elope, maybe get a little dope.

But none will fix it,

It won’t take long

they’ll wish to quit it,

To split and transmit,

From this life with a knife.

Maybe, just maybe,

If someone understood,

If they helped their crazy,

All would be good.

All could be well,

All should be swell,

And not like this hell.

Author's Note

Please leave reviews and feedback on piece, and you can always follow me @sskaitlyn on Twitter

Reviews

[apennylate]

This poem was RIGHT up my alley of interest... I have def' written that first part in various forms, a great many number of times... Tis one of my favorite soundscapes to play with, and you took it in an absolutely unique and clever direction... Quit it, split-it, transmit slits and fix-its... Seriously, I loved this... Expressively penned... Insatiably brimming with awesomeness...! Kudo's

[SSKaitlyn]

I'm glad you enjoyed it, Silente. I also appreciate your review very much, along with your words. I will definitely keep them in mind, and I will certainly return the favor, a few times.

[apennylate]

As I said, is my pleasure, and do not worry about reviews, your sincere appreciation of my time is more than enough for me...!

[...]

Nice flowing words. In stream of truth and caring. Nicely done.

[keith]

resonates of the spoken word of the 50s ...
beatnik ... dharma bum ... 6 gallery
rolls off the tongue with an ease afforded
a verbal jazz composition

[Duncan Brown]

Was was was was was...............................

[Raven Moonchild]

This poem is deep and amazing. I spent a few years helping someone I know with their depression and I nearly fell in myself.

[SSKaitlyn]

I've had my dark moments, and I empathize with anyone who goes through the same. Thank you for your review.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"To elope, maybe get a little dope."
This line made me laugh :P I loved the flow in this piece.
Well penned.

[SSKaitlyn]

Thank you, love. I'm glad you enjoyed the writing. I'll be sure to check yours out as well, given the chance later today.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I did enjoy, you're welcome. Nah, don't feel obliged for that. I actually don't like the returning favour thing here lol :P

[SSKaitlyn]

It isn't a worry at all. I enjoy reading the writing of those willing to take time to enjoy my own. I'm sure it'll be worth the effort of the reads.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

hmm okay, cool :)

[Chris]

A real critique this time:

I took this to be a "Spoken Word" piece...
a fair start - good tone and rhythmic building - the words require clear diction and attention to syllabic flow.

I would drop the second "But" and lean toward another word - perhaps a stronger one? From there onward the word flow feels less certain and more strained - at least to me. You had my attention with your "beginning" but you have to work at it to keep it to the end.

[SSKaitlyn]

Thank you for your review. I'll take some of what was said into consideration.

[Chris]

You're welcome. Nice meeting you.

[Matthew Smith]

There is a soul-baring, lonely truth to this. Clever wordplay that doesn't stray into nonsense, it remains true to its own form. Good write.

[SSKaitlyn]

Thank you, I appreciate you and your review