The VacationA Story by SSKaitlyn When paradise comes too soon, and ends with stubborn reluctance. It's a sentimental piece, where the end reunites mother and daughter, only for a great sacrifice to be made and sever the bond. There’s a beep. It’s long, seemingly endless. But it fades to the background, until silence swells up, and darkness takes over. Everything is still, everything is peaceful. There is no pain, no worries. It’s uncertain what’s happening, but there is a certain sensation about it all. Before it can be questioned further, eyes open to a world of wonder. Inhaling slowly, a cocoa gaze wanders from the candy colored heavens to the cotton fluffs floating by. Below the breathtaking skies is an equally breathtaking vista, of royal golds and purples, heavenly blues and pinks, and earthy emeralds. There are seas of greenery and flora, for as far as the eyes can see, because where the grounded beauty ends, the heavens begin. Kali goes to take a step forward, but then stops. Toes squished in something, something grainy, and those cocoa eyes sink. She glances down to toes wiggling in sand that tickles smooth ecru skin while welcoming the bodily imprint. There aren’t any others to be seen, but that’s a comforting thought. Some solitary time is a blessing, one she thanks her lucky stars for. After you’ve been surrounded by people like bugs swarm the light, you miss, and crave, alone time. It’s a blessing you appreciate with every fiber of your being. It takes you from a life of drowning tribulation to one of serenity and pleasure. Pleasure is something she hadn’t felt in so long, she doubted its existence. When one gets to that point, it’s no wonder they consider the ticks of a clock’s tock a damning phenomenon. Putting that thought to the forefront, she takes a deep breath. There’s no time, no sense of it, and nothing to keep track of it. That’s another monumental blessing. Who needs time, or wants it, when that’s all you’d been thinking about for months now. Time, time, time. That’s all anyone ever talked about. That’s all they stressed over. They cried over it, fought over it. How ridiculous is that anyway, to stress over something we can’t even see. Kali, for one, is honestly over it. Because this is so much better. How could one have a worry in the world, in a world of absolute bliss. It should raise a red flag; her father always told her that if something’s too good to be true, it is. He said that’s what her mother said all the time, so he took over saying the phrase. He never let her forget it’s her mother who said it either. When she asked why, he always said, “Because mamma says so.” The thought passed her mind whenever she came across anything resembling complete happiness. It drifted through her mind now, and she shook it off. Turning, she comes to an absolute treasure of aquamarine, cobalt and baby blue. From distant depths the deep, royal cobalt blue bleeds outwards to a gorgeous jade and aquamarine, then to a baby blue that fades to crystal clear at her feet. It has to be the purest water ever seen.. This one just seemed, so much more magical than any other. That sounds cliche, but it’s the truth. And there is no hiding the truth. There’s no denying it, when it stares back at you with the world’s most breathtaking panes. If she were being honest with herself, Kali could have stood there, feet sunken in silken soft sand, golden hair tumbling free in the gentle breeze. Heart open and mind free. If anyone had felt complete and utter liberation before, this is what it felt like. She raised her arms, embracing the emancipation of time and trouble. A deep, powerful and enlightening inhale is taken, just before the she bursts forwards for enchanting seas. There’s a single step taken, before she halts, frozen with the time. She stopped, after hearing a familiar sound, one that struck her within the fractions of a second. Her pause lasts for a decent moment, before she pivots to the left and her heart drops to the pits where butterflies eat it alive. Lounged back in a luxurious chair, seen only on 5 star cruise lines, is a woman of similar appearance, but aged a little more. Kali’s heart skips another beat before slamming against her ribcage hard, threatening to break it. As painful as that is, she can only stare at the woman, in both awe and bewilderment. There’s another thud when her heart pounds against ribs like fists against a cage. She has to wonder, if her father was right. If it’s too good to be true. Smart- top of her class intelligent- Kali has to question it, and question her. It’s not right, not possible. But then emotions override logic, and she speaks. “Mom?” She says, her throat sealed tight and voice high, struggling to wrench itself free. Her words hold so much hope and confusion it boggles her mind and her knees become weak. The woman on the chair turns her strawberry blonde head, slips her shades off, smiles at the younger version of herself and waves her over. Kali obeys, semi-automatically. She can feel her legs dragging like lead, but she can’t help it. She shouldn’t do as told, and run away instead. But her legs carry on, heavy but obediently. Perhaps it’s curiosity that carries her, or the simple fact she’d never disobeyed her mother before. She’d never really gotten the chance to. Salt water starts leaking from her chocolate irises, and after an eternity of walking she breaks into a sprint, directly into her mother’s arms. “I thought you were gone! Daddy said you went on a vacation, but you never came back. Where.. What-” desperate for an answer for far too many questions to ask in time, Kali ends up blubbering at the end. Her mother holds her, after tossing the book she’d been reading onto the chair. She rubs her back in soothing strokes in the midst of their snug embrace. They stay like this for a long while, simply relishing in one another’s warmth. They’re smiling, delighted. She’d missed it so much, since she was a little tot. Even still, memories of a mother’s calming kiss and bleeding warmth brings joyous tears to her eyes. Her voice is like a million angels singing a hymn of rejoice and remembrance. It’s so overwhelming, she can’t make a sound. Instead, she closes her eyes and prays this never ends. Not again. “Sweetie, I did go on vacation. I found paradise.” Her mother steps back a half step so that she can caress her face with both hands. Her thumbs wipe away her daughter’s tears with a sad smile on pale lips. Her hazel eyes gaze into watery brown, reflecting the same moisture. Kali fights back the urge to wail, and manages to choke on her own drowning emotions. In a way she begins to hyperventilate, with her throbbing heart pounding harder and faster, her lungs struggling for air, and thoughts under the crushing weight of sentiments. Overwhelming becomes overpowering, and she begins to lose her composure. Every bit of her sanity screams at her, telling her this isn’t right, that she shouldn’t be here. But seeing, touching her mother, makes her want to stay all the more. Her emotions swell until her throbbing heart can’t take the pressure anymore, and bursts. “Didn’t you miss me..” the struggle continues, and Kali hardly gets the words out in between sobs. Her joy slowly turns to pain, because her mother had been here all along, without her. Her mom knew too, that she had left her little girl for this paradise. As if she’d reversed back to being a child again, Kali becomes enraged and jealous, and confused, because Momma’s little girl had to grow up without the love of her mother encouraging her on. She had to move on with her life without her mom, who should have been there to hold her hand and kiss her wounds, and laugh with her, cry with her. She thought, just for a brief moment, that her momma had chosen this oasis over her. It broke her, shattered her soul into a billion pieces. So much, that she crumbled, defeated. Her mother supported her, of course, effortlessly. “Oh, baby girl, yes. Every second of every day, I missed you. And your father, and sister. I missed grandpa, and grandma. I missed Diesel, and Tigger. I missed your birthdays, your graduation.” Her mother’s voice cracks at the end, and she fights to keep her composure. Never in a zillion years would she have expected to see her daughter, not now. She expected to wait many more years, when Kali’s aged four times more as she had. It shred her spirit to micro flakes when she saw her, because it wasn’t good. She didn’t belong here. They both knew it, but only one faced the truth head on. “I love you mom,” Kali mumbles, her sobbing having remained steady like the streams of tears. Her heart continues to hammer, steady and rough, like drums of war. Their foreheads come together. Her mother’s soothing her with loving strokes along her jugular and throat. Strong, like any mother, she waits a second to shove the pain aside. She has to, for her daughter. As a mother she’d give any sacrifice to see her smile, alive and well. If that means losing her again, for a long while, then so be it. She’ll take that loss, knowing her daughter will get the chances she never got. It hurts. God, does it hurt. Sometimes, though, a mother has to do what she must. No- she always has to. “I love you too sweetie. I love you so much… and that’s why you can’t stay. You can’t stay here, love. You have to go.” her mother speaks, her voice getting quieter towards the end of her words. Her daughter tries to shake her head, and pull away in defiance of what her mother says, but she’s held still. It’s a struggle for her mother to stay steady, but she manages. And before Kali can protest her mother, she hushes her gently, and continues with an laceration on her heart that makes it bleed for them both. “I’ve missed so much but you can’t. You shouldn’t. Get married, have children, watch them grow, see their birthdays, their graduation, and their grandbabies. Grow old with your love. Then you can see me, but only then. No sooner.” Her daughter understand, or the logical half of her does. The other half is in denial. She refuses to listen at first, but the more she stands there, clinging to her mother’s cardigan, the more she’s forced see the truth. She’s made to think, to reason. She doesn’t want to, but most daughters don’t want to do as told at the beginning. Her mom knows she’s far too brilliant to be this naive, and she banks on that fact. “You don’t have to miss papa. You don’t have to miss your sister, grandpa and grandma. You don’t have to miss your life, Kali. Go, go to it. Enjoy it. I’ll be here, I’ll be here when you come back.” Her mother continues to speak, her voice cracking in parts, but she finishes strong, with iron determination now. She knows what’s right, what should be done. Kali can’t hold back the wail now, and she falls to her knees. Leaning forwards, she cries out, crying to the all too perfect heavens above, and her mother sinks down to hold her. She rocks her back and forth, swaying to the steady rolling of the ocean’s waves. She pets her hair in slow, amorous strokes. “Sshh baby girl. It’ll be okay. Just listen to my voice. Close your eyes and let go. Let go of this fantasy, and go back. Think of daddy and Kiara...” Kali does as her mother instructs, and closes her eyes. She thinks of the swaying, and it calms her to a point. She then thinks of her father and sister, who she had plans with, and cherished as much as her mother. She pictured their smiling faces, and their warmth. Soon her wailing simmered into small sobs, then she just cried in silence. She let it all out. She let go. All the while her mother sang to her, the same sweet, saccharine lullaby she sang when Kali was a baby. Her voice is silken, like an angel’s. She’s an angel, Kali thinks. Beautiful and kind, smart and humble. And like an angel, she can’t have her. She can’t be with her, or visit her. She has to leave her angel, for now. So she lets go. She lets go of her angel. “Hush pretty baby, don’t you cry Momma’s gonna sing you a lullaby..” As the song progresses the rocking motions become slower and slower. Kali keeps her eyes closed, so she can’t tell the world around her is dimming. Time comes to a crawl once more, but her mother’s able to finish the song just in time for time to freeze one last time. Her mother’s voice echoes in her mind, before fading like the light. It’s so hauntingly beautiful, one last tear drips down from cocoa eyes. And with one more heaving sigh, she’s plunged into darkness. “Hush pretty baby, don’t you cry, Daddy loves you, and so do I.” Time’s still. There’s no sound, no sight, no heat or frost. There’s nothing but a void, of anything and everything. Everything hangs in a balance, of life and time. It’s a limbo of existence, where there is, and isn’t. Then there’s a faint beep. Then another, stronger one. Eyes flutter, And Kali gasps. © 2017 SSKaitlynAuthor's Note
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SSKaitlynMOAboutThey say writing is just writing, that it's not a real job. If someone asked me what I do, I'd tell them I write, rather than disclose my full-time job as a rep on the phone. I don't consider writing .. more..Writing
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