Otherwise, the repetition in this is absolutely fantastic. If I could give advice, I would say that I would make it a new stanza before every single 'lost child, lost child.' That would make that repetition stand out even more. After "cause no one else would" and "why am I put on this earth," put in an extra line, making separate paragraphs, and you'd be golden.
Thank you alley howell i really do need to pay ateention to my diction and spelling because it does change the meaning of the poem. Thank you for bringing that to my attention.
Thank you for the advice. I had the poem written in stanzas but didnt realize my format changed when i copied and paste. Thank you for bringing that to my attention Elijah J.
Otherwise, the repetition in this is absolutely fantastic. If I could give advice, I would say that I would make it a new stanza before every single 'lost child, lost child.' That would make that repetition stand out even more. After "cause no one else would" and "why am I put on this earth," put in an extra line, making separate paragraphs, and you'd be golden.
Okay, its good. But first off, you should go back and recheck all your spelling, i.e= "eath" earth... If words arn't spelled wright the poem losses its meaning. And make sure the words you put in your pieces are actual words. But like i said, its good, just fix those little things and it will be better.
Hi. My name is Shaudae. I enjoy writing. I would love to hear feedback on my writing pieces. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated because I want to become a stronger writer. I hope you enjoy .. more..