Darkness

About a boy who suffers from depression. After a fight with his girlfriend he can't go on. He choses what he thinks is the best answer. He regrets his choice and prays. He is granted life.

Hey, what is this darkness that surrounds me
Was this how it was meant to be
There's not even a comorting friend
As I wait silently for the end

Your face is torturing my mind
As I remember what I'm leaaving far behind
And I push it all away
As I turn to God and pray

God, they say that I'm your son
So please forgive me for all I've ever done
As I lie here dying
I know it's easier than trying


Oh darling, you're not the one to blame
You just didn't feel the same
It was just the last on a long list full of pain
And I felt like I was going insane

I know you want me to live on and try
But what's the use if I'm only gonna lie
When I say I'm fine that I'm okay
But I can't really bear to live another day

Then I remember my mother's face
When my father left without a trace
Will I tear her life apart
Like my father when he broke her heart

I wanted happiness and love
Now I know that comes from God above
I gather all my strength to fight
Leave the darkness, find the light

Then, into my clouded mind there comes a voice
Is it an angel giving me a choice
Or is it the one that I have known
The one for whom my love has grown

My eyes open as I look into your face
You laugh and cry as we embrace
I'm sorry I never said goodbye
But hey, God's given me another try

Now I look back over the years
How we shared the laughter and the tears
As we watch our children grow and play
I glad God let me stay

There's a light in my mother's eyes
That replaced her tears and sighs
She is happy once again
She's forgotten all her pain

To everyone out there I want to say
Don't ever think dying is the way
Keep pushing through and fight
And one day, you'll find the light

Author's Note

Just wanted to say, this was written a long time ago. I welcome all reviews (even if critical). I don't even know why I wrote it. I think it was inspired one night when I was really depressed. I thought I would write it to convince myself I could push through and I'd find hapiness. It also partly fits in with a book I was writing.

Reviews

[Lauren Nicks]

If feel like when I am down is the best time for me to write. When you are darkness it can inspire such insight. This is exactly the same as a lot of poetry I did when I started writing. I enjoyed reading this. KEEP WRITING!

[Scarlett]

Thank you! I've written a few poems when I'm deppressed. I don't know if I'll add anymore on here but I might. Thanks again for reviewing!

[Lovecraft]

Lauren, I do the same thing. When I'm in a dark mood I write with dark concepts and themes in mind, though I sometimes tend to go a tiny bit overboard with the graphic violence and such, lol.

[Lovecraft]

Quite good, not depressing or anything in my opinion.
The rhyming is very basic most of the time but I'll forgive that in light of how long ago you wrote this. The structure is fine and the verses are decent. Nothing special if I'm being honest, but much potential I see here. You should edit it to be darker and a bit more graphic in my honest opinion. Make it an emotional gut punch, knocking the wind outta you


Although I'm not much into the God and Praying stuff, it's decent. Not bad at all...

Good work. I've also struggled with depression for well over a decade and I've thought about suicide but I never even tried to go through with it. Now I don't think about killing myself anymore. Hmm, a bit dark but honest. Whatever.

I apologize if I am being too blunt in my criticism, but that's how I do it. ;)

[Scarlett]

Thank you for this review. I don't mind if you are blunt. I love to know what others think of my work. I do agree it is a bit basic but considering I done it when I was younger and that I'm not much of a poet who can blame me?

I'm glad you never went through with suicide. It's sad how many people think of it. I'll try to make it darker but it might take awhile for me to get around to doing it.

[Lovecraft]

That's fine. :)