Everyone is busy

 

When you are restless and dim

When you tend to fly high,

My sweet lazy crazy soul

Swaying across the sky.

 

Your shameless painless surrender of freedom

That is now mine,

Let me swallow part of your venom

Let me shed some more of those sunshine.

 

When you count your fruits of life

At the solitude path of thee,

Before breaking your soul into pieces, dear friend

For once, do remember me.

Reviews

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Very nice, I like the emotion in this as well as these lines:
"Let me swallow part of your venom"

"Before breaking your soul into pieces, dear friend

For once, do remember me."

Nice rhyming as well and title.

[Poppie Mira]

..wonderful POEM..it blows me away..

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Pure poetry...........wonderful

[Heather Clayton]

What a journey the soul must take reading this poem, loved it...

[Leslie Philibert]

Nice work , would make a serious folk song, well written.

[Kuhr Gred]

Fantastic flow of words.. keep it up.. :) and very colorful written poem.. :)
- Kuhr Gred

[AK]

Brilliant poem! I loved the flow! Keep writing!

[Coyote Poetry]

Nice flow of thoughts and I like the ending.
"Your shameless painless surrender of freedom
That is now mine,"
No weakness in the amazing poetry. I like the last line. Made this poem complete.
Coyote

[MoriartyMesa]

Country, this is total country music, Randy Travis could spin this into another 'Better Class of Losers'


My vote this needs a guitar and an old one at that and the effect would triple down