Chapter 5: Changes

Leading up to Christmas at Meals shared

“Hey Sarah, take this, too?” Leonard asks, tapping his kitchen stool. He doesn’t like to ask us to do things for him; when he does, he usually asks all casual, like it’s no big deal.  But he stands up straight and tall, face set in his best unreadable military face, when asking.  Maybe he’s making sure we take him seriously?  

I’ve never seen the stool leave the kitchen, “Okay, where do you want me to put it?”

“Behind the dish tub table,” he replies.

‘Behind the dish tub table’ means something different now than it did a few weeks ago.  That whole area has been rearranged.  The table is now slightly to the side of the alcove for desserts and drinking, running parallel to with it, rather than meeting it in a L; it now looks like a staggered equal sign. You can get out from behind the table on both sides.

Sight lines to the alcove changed, too.  Desserts have switched places with the drinks, closer to our post, so we can still monitor them. Drinks are on the far side of the alcove now, meaning we need to check if they are getting low, periodically. I set Leonard’s stool on the right-hand side.

“It’s you and me, Red,” Leonard says.

Edgar has already sat down with his plate; it’s one of the days he can’t work.  It’s quieter today, pay day for many people, I have learned. About the time that the dining room seems to clear out altogether, Edgar brings his dishes carefully to the bins and nods at me, eyes darting up though lowered glasses, to look at me briefly.  He mumbles that he’ll see me next week.  

I’ve been thinking about some of the things Leonard has told me and some of what I’ve seen, since I have been volunteering.  I use this opportunity to ask Leonard a few questions.

“Leonard, when Edgar comes in drunk does that mean his time sober kind of…. resets?” I hope he understands what I mean, because I am having trouble figuring out how to ask this particular question.

I’ve seen that look before.  Just not from Leonard. It’s the look adults give when trying to decide if they’re going to answer a question.  They seem to search for something in you; you can see them thinking.  Leonard usually answers my questions, or sometimes gives my one of those final responses that means no more questions, like when we talked about the army.

He sighs. “Sarah, Edgar isn’t sober.  He’s just doesn;t have much money.  And tries to wait until later in the day when he drinks, after he volunteers.  Sometimes he doesn’t make it.”

I hate it when I have too many questions running around in my head and it's hard to even get one to come out. The one that actually leaves my mouth is probably not the most important one.

“How can you be friends with him, if he still drinks?”

Leonard raises his eyebrows at me and I regret the question a bit.  But he does answer.

“Me and Edgar have been friends for years.  I’ve changed; he hasn’t yet,” Leonard looks away, eyes focused far ahead, I think remembering something, “No changing someone’s timeline; we do it when we’re ready.”

*****

I walk past Leonard on my way to the entrance, both of us with visible breath.  Mine from the cold, his augmented by the cigarette he is smoking, while leaning on the building. The metal chair must be too cold. The door is tightly closed these days, as the snow is deep and temperatures reach down well into the negative.

It’s an early day for me, and I am hoping to see Edgar.  I haven’t seen him in a few weeks, but when he can’t work, he still sometimes comes early. No Edgar again today.  One of the other volunteers and I work up front.

I get supper with Bev, our director.  She is a short woman, with even shorter dark hair and a smooth complexion.  Bev is quiet, small and friendly. Until something happens. Then she is neither quiet nor friendly and doesn’t seem as small, either.

I have seen her stand up to the occasional belligerent fine option volunteer, and patrons who couldn’t settle with fire in her eyes. But she seems to save the venom on her razor-sharp tongue to defend against things she sees as unfair, from the board member who didn’t want the doors to Meals Shared open until exactly 4:30, regardless of temperatures in the -30 range to nit picky probation officers.

I know that Bev has seen Edgar come in drunk, so ask her about his absence; I am worried, this is the third week in a row I have not seen him.

“Bev,” I pause for a few seconds. Some questions are hard to ask, especially at Meals Shared; I don’t always know what to ask, exactly. “Is Edgar okay, do you know?  I haven’t seen him in long time.  He’s never been away this long, since I’ve been coming here, which is almost a year.  Do you think he’s drinking too much?  Or maybe he’s sick or something?” The words start to run together and the last ones come out muffled, I am trying really hard not to cry, because, now that I have started asking, I’m scared of the answer.

“Edgar is good,” Bev says, “More than good, I think. This time of year he always seems to be able to keep a job.”

Since she is smiling and Bev doesn’t smile like that often, I accept her explanation. Her razor-sharp tongue is also blunt sometimes; Bev does not sugar coat anything.

“Can you come in on Friday, the week after next, instead of Thursday? Santa’s coming.  Might be busy.” Bev says.

“Sure, I will see if I can come early. The school lets us do some volunteering at Christmas and Easter, so maybe I can get out of school early to help with Santa, especially since we’ve been collecting the candy and stuff that comes in with donations to make bags for the kids. I can help set up and stuff.”

“I hope you can make it, Sarah,” Bev says.  She’s still smiling.

*****

I pull open the door, maybe a little too hard, but I am excited.  It’s barely one o’clock.  No social studies or French or music class for me.  I get to be here instead!  The kids all know Santa is coming.  Bev thinks the adults will bring nieces, nephews and grandchildren today; we are expecting a big group.

Stew leftover from yesterday’s dinner is being consumed by volunteers, along with coffee or tea. Conversation is loud, boisterous, celebratory.  Even the short term fine option volunteers are laughing along.  Leonard and Edgar sit at the far side of the table, I get a tea, with lots of sugar, and go sit near them.  I am immediately included in a conversation about children and Christmas.

Soon Bev and Rob carry supplies over to a nearby table.  Donations to make Santa’s visit a festive occasion: mandarin oranges, candy canes, other candies, peanuts with the shell on, plastic baggies, ribbon, Christmas stickers and brightly coloured garland, both red and green.

After setting up a production line on a round table, we start to make gift bags.  Each person has bags, ribbons and stickers in front of them.  Each bag staffer has a different thing to add to a bag.  When a bag gets all the way around the table, the person who started it adds ribbon and stickers.

Rob carried the big fabric chair from Bev’s office into the dining area.  It’s a worn burgundy colour; the kind of chair with winged sides, that looks like maybe it was fancy once.  Edgar calls me over.

“Let’s make it look like Santa’s chair,” he says, handing me some of the decorations.

“Okay!” I grab some of the garland and start to drape it on the chair. “I wonder how tall this  is?” I ask, looking at Edgar for some direction.

“Priddy tall,” he replies. “Uhm, Sarah…”

I turn to give him all my focus, the garland can wait. Maybe he’s going to tell me about why he hasn’t been here?  Or his drinking? Instead he pulls a longish red envelope out of his plaid shirt pocket.

“Open it?” he asks.

Inside is one of those cards with the photos printed on them you can get at the Santa booth in the mall. When I was little, we got polaroids, but now they print them there and, for a bit extra, they will make them into a Christmas card.

Only, on this card, there is no child sitting with Santa, just Santa in his red coat and hat, with his real, mostly white beard and glasses perches low on his nose, peering over them with a smile.  Beside the photo, it says: “Merry Christmas from Santa and Edgar Pearson” printed in fancy green script.

I get it!  “Edgar, are you Santa!?” I ask thrusting the photo towards him, as though he hasn’t just gifted it to me.

He smiles, just like the photo, “E’ery year, pas’ twelve years,” he declares.

That’s why he hasn’t been here.  The mall is always open late Thursday nights and every night in December, except Sundays.  Then the ‘12 years’ makes me think. Is Edgar in some of my photos with Santa?  Some were taken at the mall.  I will need to check when I get home. In the meantime, we have to get ready; the kids are coming!

“Sit in the chair, I can see how to decorate it better with you in it,” I say.

As he follows my directions, we talk about all the fun the children will have, how the mall let him use their costume, which is way better, for today and even let Santa’s booth open late, so the kids at Meals Shared can meet Santa, too.

“Marg an’ Jenny’re coming today,” he says, his smile is brilliant, like a movie Santa, when he talks about his daughter and granddaughter. “Jenny knows I help the real Santa, listenin’ to the boys and girls for him.”

Author's Note

This chapter might be incomplete. I am considering showing Bev take on a probation offices, a sight to behold! Would it add to the story or spread it out too far?

Also was thinking some of the Christmas stories could be told. Are you, as a reader interested in any stories that might be told by a specific character?

As always, all constructive feedback welcome!

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This chapter feels very festive & I can feel Sarah's excitement about the Christmas gathering. I would not be in favor of adding anything dreary or technical, such as Bev's take on probation, etc. I would be in favor of adding more detail to the festivities, since this part felt a little sparse.

All in all, I very much follow & am sucked in by Sarah's concern for Edgar . . . however, I felt that in the "holiday" section, it would be nice to add an acknowledgement about how relieved Sarah felt when she saw Edgar again, something at the beginning of this section when she first sees him. I very much enjoyed the way this suspense ends with finding out about Edgar being Santa.

[Shannon]

I don't know whether to thank you so much for your continued reading and reviews or congratulate myself for bring clever enough to ask you to have another look. ☺️☺️☺️

This is extremely helpful!

[barleygirl]

*smile* (((HUGS)))

[Dave]

I'm fascinated with Sarah's' interest in Edgar. Especially in his role as Santa. Have you ever dressed as Santa? I have and I must tell you its an awesome experience!. I volunteer for a Compassionate Care Hospice. We visit with people in care facilities that for the most part are terminally ill. For the past three Christmases
I have been the Santa that visited them. I use a beautiful outfit, but to see their reaction. Honest to goodness, old as they are, they are like little children.
I can see why your Edgar would do so well in the part.

[Shannon]

I was shocked to find out he was able to do such a thing. Youthful thinking.

I am glad that you enjoy Edgar and your time as Santa!

[SweetNutmeg]

This chapter now has much more cohesion. While I am interested to see Bev take on a probation officer, i don't feel like that would go in this chapter. More stories would though, I think

I'm still loving Edgar as Santa and how seriously he tales his job.

[Shannon]

Thank you. I think I will try to write some fun and bittersweet Christmas stories in here.
read moreThank you. I think I will try to write some fun and bittersweet Christmas stories in here.

Thank you so much for reading again.

[AUU]

1. I like Sarah reflecting on that Leonard must be having a tough day if he's asking her to do things for him. However, I feel as though something is lost. His pain. Maybe he is the type of man who doesn't like to show pain, but that doesn't mean he doesn't show pain. Sarah could observe that he is moving slower, his mood a bit more somber. I can't recall if he has a cane or not, but maybe he's using the cane today? Details help sell characters.

2.The rearranged serving area has me a bit confused. Does this happen often in soup kitchens? I'm just curious why you wanted to rearrange it.

3. I think it's a nice touch having Leonard using "Red" and "Sarah" interchangeably.

4.The jump to observing Edgar is a bit jarring. I think adding direction. Where Edgar is in the room: close by, next to the door, in the corner of the room by himself could help.

5. "It.s one of the days he can't work." Because he's drunk? How does Sarah know that he's drunk? Is it because he's not working, so she assumes he's drunk?

5. Where is Sarah and Leonard when Edgar brings his dish up? Are they still sitting together? Is there any tension between Leonard and Edgar?

6. "I have....he had been in a war zone." A great character perspective. Thank you!

7."He's just broke." Hmmmm. Not sure I like Leonards' answer. This is just my opinion, so disregard it if I'm wrong, but Leonard seems like a type of guy who is blunt. Answers questions when he thinks he should, doesn't answer them when he doesn't think he should. His answer "he's just broke" sounds like child-talk to me. My thought is, that if Leonard was going to speak to Sarah about Edgar, he bluntly tell her that Edgar is not looking for sobriety.

8. That's a tough question that Sarah asks Leonard, and I could tell it genuinely suprised him. Great work.

9. "Me and Edgar..." YES. Properly it would be "Edgar and I..." but I like how you didn't do that. It speaks about Edgar's voice. If ANYONE ever insists a character talks properly and it doesn't fit the character, then tell them kindly to shove off.

10. "Both of us with visible breath." What month is it? Is this the onset of winter, or late fall? You say later that its been weeks since Sarah has seen Edgar. Simply stating a month can do wonders with setting.

11. "Using his cane some..." See. I like this detail. It suggests Leonard doesn't always use a cane, and is usually a stubborn oaf, but his back has been so bad that he needs to.

12. "...if he is on fine option again." Not sure what this means.

13. "Rob tells me his going to school...to be a commercial cook." I think this paragraph could be better told through dialogue.

14. "One of the regulars..." I'd like to point out that this jump could work better if there was dialogue between Rob and Sarah. For an example, the last line of dialogue could lead into introducing this "regular."

The front door swings open.

Rob sighs. "Someone looks to be in particular bad sorts."

It's one of our regular patrons...[your description].

15. Your description of the girl is very visual. I commend you.

16. "I'll get some for you..." Kind of awkward. I think having Sarah ask the lady if she would like "coffee or tea" sooner would help.

17. "the sandwiches still melted inside." I know it's grilled cheese, but some reader's might not remember that. Maybe plainly say, "and a sandwich, the cheese still melted inside."

18. I do like the bit you wrote about the milk and sugar. It's a line that shows that Sarah is becoming more experienced in the kitchen.

19. "You are nis...ge' so nis." I like this line. Adds dimension to this woman's tragic life.

20. "Indigenous descent." This line through me for a loop. I know this is Canada, but I'm not aware of Canada's diversity. I take it indigenous means people native from Canada, like U.S.'s Native Americans? Are there are a lot of indigenous people in Canada? I don't want you to feel like you need to have a long winded explanation in the writing, but I just feel as though it's unclear.

21. "she begins to loudly eat the soup." How so? Is she slurping?

22. Why is Sarah eating supper with the director? What she invited out? Did the direction stop into the kitchen?

23. "deep smooth." I don't know what your trying to say with "deep?" Is she darker skinned?

24. "only time of year he..." I know you have the Santa line a little later, lending that Bev is saying Edgar can hold a job around Christmas, but I still think the setting is lost. I don't always sense the passage of time. I see that you are trying: mentions of characters being able to see their breath, and Santa, but I'd like to see more.

25. "No social class." Not something I want to see you explain in the writing. I'm just curious what social class is.

26.I love. love. LOVE your description of christmas at the kitchen. It's very festive. I can feel the joy. The talk of mandarin oranges must be a culture thing, but I liked it.

27. Hmmm. This is just a nitpick, but are the characters really talking about Edgar being Santa in the kitchen? They gotta be whispering that stuff! Can't spoil it for the children.

Overall I felt this chapter to be a bit of a reprieve. It ended on a upper note. For Edgar. Some may consider that boring, but it all depends where you go with it. I'm expecting some sort of tragedy to happen to Edgar or even Leonard. Actually...now that I think about it. We don't really hear at all from Leonard at the end of the chapter. That's kind of a missed opportunity maybe for a bit of drama, something to give readers to chew on before the click for the next chapter.

I just had a thought. Earlier I was a bit confused why you spent the time explaining how the kitchen was rearranged. Is it because they were getting ready for the Holiday? If so. That's also an opportunity to help with my critique about the passing of time.

Thanks for allowing me to review your work!

[Shannon]

Thank you for the kind and detailed review. I can see some areas where the reading is off. Social class in this context could be a completely different reference (was referring to social studies class, which is like history combined with current events and political structures, etc) and he's broke (I would never refer to a person as broken, I meant no money, but it could read as a judgement on Edgar) . Really glad you pointed these out.

The time is interesting, because I am trying to show it in tiny bits, instead of tell. Will ponder this.

Two things I am going to leave. Indigenous. There are lots of people, especially where this takes place who are Aboriginal or Indigenous. I know Americans use language that is considered out dated here, but I will stick with what we consider respectful.

The rearranging of tables is subtle, but Sarah doesn't know why either, so I can't have her tell you (first person) but I do explain in next (last) chapter.

I feel as though dividing this into chapters has not been that helpful for the reader maybe, as the bits get lost. I plan to edit whole thing in future, rearrange, etc.

Thank you again for taking the time. Appreciate it immensely.

[AUU]

Cool.

Showing over telling is great, but you can still use dates to set the scene and have it be "showing."

Example: The December wind set a chill to Sarah's skin.

That's fine if you want to keep using "Indigenous." I wasn't asking you to change it. Just provide more context. Indigenous itself doesn't really fully describe someone and how they look.

[Stan Lee]

Somehow I can review tonight. It's actually letting me, despite the odd format. Anyway. Where to start. It's brilliant. I'm extremely impressed. The fact that you have put in So much effort to come this far proves that you feel inspired about this story and inspired to tell it. As always your distinctive writing style is a pleasure to read. I have one suggestion for re-wording the sentence re eating loudly. One doesn't really eat soup loudly. Perhaps she slurped noisily on her soup. :) just a suggestion. Thanks for sharing this story with us. Loving it.

[Shannon]

Thank you for the feedback Andronicus. I am glad that you are enjoying it and that my passion is coming through.

[SweetNutmeg]

Now the following comment addresses something i have troubles with myself. What is contained in this chapter lacks cohesion and feels a bit aimless. Perhaps you might think about what is most important to you in this chapter, what the theme or center is, and try to tie everything in the chapter into that theme or center. Leonard's back being bad, the compliments of the elderly lady, Rob's pitching in to help, none seem directly tied to Christmas or Edgar, which feels like the center of the story in this chapter.

You title the chapter "Changes" so apparently change is important to you in this chapter, but that doesn't really come through. Perhaps you might split the chapter into two, one chapter about changes, such as rearranging the work stations, Leonard not coming in, Rob being in charge. And the other chapter about Edgar's job and Christmas.

I love Edgar's comment about helping Santa. That's so awesome. As an adult I am pretty cynical about mall Santas and their genuine interest in children, so it delights me that Edgar is a mall Santa who takes his job very seriously, being more than a jolly back drop for photos.

I agree the description of Bev is great. I can just see a small lady growing larger and more intimidating when incensed. It shows me her passion for the organization and for the patrons and workers.

I felt caught up in the last scene especially, when Red comes in and is swept up into the festive atmosphere and enrolled in the assembly line. That felt energized and joyful and Christmas-y.

I enjoyed getting to know more about Edgar and his friendship with Leonard, and Rob intrigues me as always. I know the story is about Leonard and Edgar, but Rob keeps popping up and is an interesting side character. i like how he seems to be changing with the help of Meals Shared and the people there.

All in all, a very interesting chapter. I'm looking forward to more.

[Shannon]

Thank you for the review. I will definitely consider your comments, which do match my thoughts. Some of these scenes, I wish I had included in different chapters maybe.

If I were to create a separate chapter for Christmas, would you like to see some if the event itself, or do you like where I ended it? More of the event would just be for fun, as it wouldn't add to the story.

I appreciate your continued reading and support.

[Dave]

Your people are so real. I can see and feel them. I think the detail you describe lends to the readers ability to easily relate to the situations you create and the people and their interactions with one another.

[David Buchan-Terrell]

Well Done! Re formatting, Set your page up so it uses "Justified" It will make margins on both sides equal. Have you got a Spell check that checks grammer? It will catch any place where you have double spaced by accident. Watch for using thee wrong tense. It happens in the first chapters then doesn't happen again (so far)

[Shannon]

Thank you Dave. That's a long way to read in one day.

Let's just say posting presents so unique technology challenges. I did send you an e-mail today.

[David Buchan-Terrell]

Email direct was not received, yet (9:30 am)

[barleygirl]

Overall, I'm getting this chapter to be about Red worrying about Edgar, then finding out her worries were not needed becuz he was doing something legit. This seems to set up the storyline for possibly later on, Red being concerned about Edgar or maybe not believing in him as much as she could. The reader is curious to know why you spend a whole chapter showing us this lack of faith in Edgar, which turned out to be not based on anything real.

This is one of the best paragraphs ever, starting with: "I have seen the look Leonard is giving me before . . . " . . . becuz you do such a superb job of describing something as simple as a look, the way a person does certain mannerisms before answering a question . . . this is the ultimate in SHOWING rather than telling.

It could be confusing when, a little later (next section), you talk about Leonard being gone. I get that Red worries about people when they're gone, but a few of these details about Leonard being gone could be misleading, since the main crux of this chapter is about Edgar going missing. The following dialogue seemed to confuse me: "I am trying to figure out if he is on fine option again." (if WHO is on fine option?)
“Sort of, but there was this fine from a long time ago….” (are we talking about Leonard?) That's why it seems a little confusing when you mix Leonard being gone and Edgar being missing.

Excellent description of Bev, contrasting her usual demeanor with how she is when she's fired up (love the part about her seeming bigger). And finally, I love the part about getting ready for Christmas . . . good details, good cheery feelings amongst friends, etc.

Before I forget . . . I'm enjoying your story & I love the way you tell a story in your own unique fresh way. This doesn't sound like any other story I've ever read. The things you notice in life & therefore put into your story as observations is what makes your writing so original sounding.

[Shannon]

Thank you for continuing on this little journey with me. I know fresh and original are extremely high compliments from you. I think I am an observer. Even back then, because I did notice (if not understand) most of this back then.

I was wondering about the scene with Rob when I asked if there were parts that didn't need to be told. It was an attempt to integrate Leonard's health getting worse with Rob's progress (he was still doing fine option, but in school).

I also wondered about increasing Bev, but decided to keep her as a support. Next chapter goes into what happens when she leaves, so needed to show her character (fierce but fair) this time. I think, ideally, I would have shown you all chapters back.

I think the lack of faith in Edgar was to show both her worry, but also her increased understanding of the reality at Meals Shared. I also wanted to demonstrate how people are not just one thing. Alcoholism was not who he was, just one aspect of his life. Red had to learn that. And she did at meals shared. 😊

[Splatman73]

To me, this story feels like a stroll in the park. There's no true point B, but it's not a bad thing. Sometimes it's nice to just enjoy the scenery for as long as it may last. I think that's what I love about your "Meals Shared". Also nice holiday theme. I could really feel the Christmas there at the end.

[Shannon]

I agree with you. The point is sort of the scenery along the way, the little bits of learning that happen by being in that particular place with those specific people. I appreciate the continued reads.