Palace

In defiance of the season

Hand in hand, one dark, hair shining in the sun,

One fair, skin and hair turned golden by the glowing orb.

Passion spoken in the bags they carry,

tools of the trade, carefully assembled:

Vessels of varied sizes and shapes, 

force damp sand into the perfect form.

Shovels, trowels, a wooden ruler,

shape smooth errant fabrication.

A majestic castle takes shape under

practiced hands,

Arched openings etched into the surface,

chiseled away.

Beach scoured for shells,

Iridescent treasures,

flecks twinkle in daylight.

Tenuous structure

complete and adorned,

it's architects enter the surf.

Swimming becomes

 floating,                           

                                                  suspended

  weightless.

Clouds cross the sky, 

Spaceships and dragons revealed

Vanishing within fleeting moments.

Tide crashes in,

Atlantis claims one more palace

for its watery depths. 

Author's Note

A friend gave me some words, so thank you!

I think I wrote this in defiance of our early snowfall, or maybe as a farewell to summer.

All constructive feedback is always welcome.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i think of the song "Castles in the Air" by don maclean...

"i'm growing tired of castles in the air"

love can be like a season, always fleeting---like clouds dancing by the sun and disappearing...

so ephemeral...

i love the allegory here...two slight changes...first line "shining" and last line "its"

but quite the image filled ride...and i really like the pattern you created with form--=the spacing works so well...

j.

[Shannon]

First of all, thank you for the proof read, j. What a way to bookend the piece...with typos.

I was going for dreamy quality. Both that and the spacing are well outside my comfort zone and typical style, so I appreciate that they both stood out and worked for you.

Thank you.

[Howling_Wolf]

What a immaculate poem you have written, S. Mi. Reading this, I can clearly see the imagery you have written. Great Work!

[Shannon]

Thank you very much, Mr Wolf! Love when people say they can see it. ☺️

[Inject Positivity]

A tribute to the imaginative thoughts that the poet has in her mind while thinking of the shining moments of summer. One thing that has been most attractive in this poem is your unique phrasing and imageries that are very much pleasing for the eyes and mind. For example the following lines create something magnificent "Vessels of varied sizes and shapes, /force damp sand into the perfect form." the poet here magnifies the sheer beauty that one can think of sitting on a cold winter day remembering the moments of summer. My favorite lines would be "A majestic castle takes shape under practiced hands,
Arched openings etched into the surface, chiseled away."

Great job, and I would give clappings to you for bringing the summer scene alive with magical descriptions and thoughts...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Shannon]

Thank you so much for the read and review, Dhiman. As you know, I rely on others to tell me a bit about the visuals, so I really appreciate your comments.

[Jacob Clifford]

Lovely imagery. This poem really captured the essence of summer, I felt. I really like the lines about the clouds, of seeing shapes in them as they sluggishly move across the sky. It hasn't been summer temperatures for a while. The past couple days, it's been cold enough to snow, but it hasn't yet. I don't mind winter, but summer never seems to last long enough.

[Shannon]

Thank you for the read and review, Clifford. I wouldn't mind winter if it lasted 3, maybe even 4 months. I wrote this the weekend if our first snow fall, a month earlier than normal. I think the words given and my grumpiness about the weather took me there.
Thanks again.

[Papaya]

Fortunately we haven't seen snow yet but it was pretty cold today.
Still, I wore flip flops and shorts to the store earlier. I balanced it with a sweatshirt though.
It was a gorgeous sunny day, easy to imagine it's still summer from inside looking out. Fun poem.
I miss summer.

[Shannon]

Thank you Papaya! It was sunny here today, but this one was lingering on my computer since our first (way too early) storm. I think I was feeling very contrary that day!

[Papaya]

I saw that, unbelievable. I was shaking my head and thinking how glad I am to be in Ontario. :)read moreI saw that, unbelievable. I was shaking my head and thinking how glad I am to be in Ontario. :)
I like the snow, just not yet.