Palace

In defiance of the season

Hand in hand, one dark, hair shining in the sun,

One fair, skin and hair turned golden by the glowing orb.

Passion spoken in the bags they carry,

tools of the trade, carefully assembled:

Vessels of varied sizes and shapes, 

force damp sand into the perfect form.

Shovels, trowels, a wooden ruler,

shape smooth errant fabrication.

A majestic castle takes shape under

practiced hands,

Arched openings etched into the surface,

chiseled away.

Beach scoured for shells,

Iridescent treasures,

flecks twinkle in daylight.

Tenuous structure

complete and adorned,

it's architects enter the surf.

Swimming becomes

 floating,                           

                                                  suspended

  weightless.

Clouds cross the sky, 

Spaceships and dragons revealed

Vanishing within fleeting moments.

Tide crashes in,

Atlantis claims one more palace

for its watery depths. 

Author's Note

A friend gave me some words, so thank you!

I think I wrote this in defiance of our early snowfall, or maybe as a farewell to summer.

All constructive feedback is always welcome.

Reviews

[James]

I'm in defiance to the season as well. I live on the coast and live for summer and sand castles. Very nice. In late spring as the water warms up the beach and sand castles are my favorite topics.

I enjoyed this . Thanks

[Shannon]

I am amazed by how many people have such fond memories of this sort of thing.

Glad that you enjoyed!

[Hi]

This does well in making life feel a bit more magical even if you don't make many castles anymore. Thanks.

[Shannon]

Thank you Matt. Appreciate that you felt a little of the magic. Maybe next summer is the year to build again!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Nice imagery. Makes one realize that seasons and life are temporary. We all have to move on.
The concluding lines describe the truth and reality of our existence.

[Shannon]

The end seems to mean something slightly different for everyone.

Thanks for the read and review.

[θεά]

This has such a mysterious denouement to it. The pace is unraveling and the conclusion is quite a spectacle as it is meant to be. The world of myth, reality and fantasy are delicately conjoined to each other and you have unwrapped it delicately and it has been quite a read. I appreciate your use of spacing and breaking the lines to add to the wonderment of this piece.
Look forward to your other writings,
Best,
Mallika.

[Shannon]

Thank you very much. I tend to write rather concretely, but the words I was given took me down a more fanciful path.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

S.Mi,
This is so accurate. the very reality of life's brevity is apparent. Life is always moving and this spoke to that reality with the imagery. Twinkling sand, imaginary creatures seen in the sky's clouds and the very efforts to build the castle (the things of life) All transitory. so precious are all that are fleeting and we treasure them. Thankyou for writing; I love it! Blessings Kathy

[aLittlePain]

Gorgeous poem, again stunning picturesque imagery. We are heading into summer here so this is a timely piece. I loved the closing lines, sums up perfectly how seasons also pass. Regards Ray

[Shannon]

I love all the different ways people relate to the final line.

Reviews like this are especially powerful for me. I sometimes suggest people check out my very first posting Difference:Aphantasia to explain why.

[Stan Lee]

Oooh! What beautiful imagery S.Mi! I loved the iridescent treasures and the way you finished with the tide crashing in to claim one more palace. Lovely poem! :)

[Shannon]

Thank you Andronicus. Appreciate your thoughts and glad to hear the imagery worked for you.

[barleygirl]

Even tho I've lived near the ocean most of my life, I've never been a beach bum. It's always interesting to read something like this poem that describes the symbols of summer: beach fun! building sand castles! swimming in the surf! I truly understand the idea of clinging to the warm fun season when harsh winter starts early (even tho we are enjoying lovely warm early rains here). The most poignant part of your poem is when the sand castle is swallowed up by the waves . . . excellent analogy for the way summer sun is swallowed up by winter weather . . . or maybe we are swallowed up by winter becuz we go into hibernation (some of us). Great descriptions, nicely sensory, & I love the overall meaning.

[Shannon]

Thank you barleygirl. As you know, my poems tend not to be quite so sweet. So thank you for following me on this little trip. But I couldn't resist the flip side. Thank you for the read and review. I like your take on it.

[emmajoy]

'Swimming becomes
floating,
suspended
weightless.'

Immediately think of Life held in time.. dont know why. However:

This is amazingly visual.. each couplet a richly painted miniature and, in many ways,., charming. At the end however, for me - there's such a dramatic sadness.. tis as if sharing pleasures and beauty can be swept away. - maybe can read tears instead of tide.. .

Your write gently, display carefully and use fine, fine language. Thank you for filling my dreams with.. heart.. and by the way, i see children here ...

[Shannon]

Well thank you emmajoy, I am happy to hear that this one said something to you. I am happy you find it visually appealing, but really like your comment regarding word choices.
Yes, I purposely didn't tell you who they are....then it can be your story, too.

[Wondering Mind]

Nature triumphs-as always it does. Excellent imagery.

This, to me, was a fusion between mythology and fantasy.

[Shannon]

Thank you. Interesting take! I was aiming for somewhat dreamy, so it's validating to hear that came through. And always enjoy when imagery works beyond my own point of view.