Chapter 4: Friendly

Chapter 4: Friendly

A Chapter by Shannon
"

Leonard's warnings

"

It’s my last week of summer vacation and I hope Leonard and Edgar are in. I have a plan for the fall, because everything changed this year.

Leonard is on his stool.  The kitchen smells really good, spicy and rich.

“What’re you making?” I ask, while washing my hands in the nearby sink.

“Chili and salad” Leonard replies, “Lots of vegetables with soft spots donated.”

I pull out a cutting board and get to work on trimming some of the beat up radishes, before I launch into my plan:

“This whole year is different!  I am going to a school way up in the east side of town.  Better science classes and computers and no uniforms.  Plus the academy, isn’t as expensive as people think, but it is does cost some money and we don’t have lots.  New one’s a public school. It’s a long bus ride. I get off early once a month on Thursdays, because teachers have a staff meeting.  And swimming is Monday, Wednesday and Friday now.  So I am thinking Thursday makes the most sense.  Then sometimes I can be here early enough to set up or even cook.  But even if I get here just on time, do you think Bev will still let me help out front?” Leonard opens his mouth, but I’m not done. “Oh, and I am trying to convince my grandpa to drive me when he isn’t working up north or my aunt when she is on evening shift, because it’s practically on her way.  So maybe, most days, I won’t be so late anyway.”

“I’m sure she’d let you help anytime you get here,” Leonard answers my earlier question. He always keeps track like that.  Most adults forget what I have been saying half way through, at least sometimes.  

Satisfied that Bev will like my idea, too, I start telling Leonard about the trip to the lake last week.  Where I drove the boat for a friend tubing.  Didn’t tell my friend I hadn’t driven a boat on my own and had to figure it out, while my friend got a wild ride!

As I am talking with Leonard, a small frown pulls his lips down and eyebrows together briefly, before disappearing.  So quick, it would be easy to miss, had he not been laughing at my story.

By the time I turn to see what’s happening, Leonard has pulled himself to his feet and is limping over to meet Edgar on the way into the kitchen.  Edgar’s normally large strides, are careful and small today, measured.  Then Edgar leans to the right, stumbling to catch his balance on the slightly inclined ramp into the kitchen area.

Leonard intercepts the taller man before he reaches the main part of the kitchen.  A short but intense conversation happens between them.  Leonard is gesturing a bit, pointing back to the dining area, while Edgar seems bewildered and slow to move.  At Leonard’s urging, Edgar cautiously retraces his step out of the kitchen.

Stopping by the stainless steel shelf where clean dishes are kept, Leonard picks up a bowl and large plate, which he hands to Rob.

“Get some of that chilli, ok? And a piece of bread and some salad.”  Robs nods his head, completes the requested task and takes the full plate out to the dining room.

“Sarah, you’ve set up the front on your own, hey?”

“Yes.” When Edgar isn’t here.  ….But Edgar is here...

“Ask one of the dishwashers to help you? Denise?” Leonard says, the last word louder, directed at towards the dishwashing area.

A young woman, working the dishwasher, looks up at Leonard expectantly. Her face is red and puffy from the heat.  Her long dark hair is pulled tightly back, except bangs that nearly cover equally dark eyes; she wears jeans and a hooded sweatshirt, despite the heat of the late summer kitchen.

“Have you opened out front, before?” I ask.

“Nope, what do we do?”

“Make coffee, make sure sugar and creamer are full, make Kool-Aide, get pitchers of water, find out if there is a bread bowl and ask someone in the kitchen if there are desserts.  Make sure there are enough dishes, cups, spoons and stuff.” I say, ticking off the list on my fingers, “It's really easy.  What do you want to do?”

Denise looks at me from under her bangs and shrugs her shoulders.

So I tell her, “You fill the coffee pot, I’ll do the Kool-Aide, then we can work on the stuff out front together, okay?”

“Sure.” Denise replies flatly, but walks with me to get the empty vessels.

“Do you like cherry?” I ask, making conversation. I plan to make cherry if we have it.

“Yeah,” Denise smiles a bit, “It’s my favourite.”

“Mine, too,” I reply.

As we are using the giant sinks to fill both the coffee percolator and the juice cooler, I see that Denise’s arm is covered in thin raised lines. Dozens of them really close together, in groupings, sort of like light coloured barcodes, on the inside of her forearm. Some are white scars, others newly healed pink, a few are still scabbed.  She pulls down the sleeve of her hoody when she sees me looking.  I smile at her, hoping it looks reassuring and not judging; judging doesn’t make anything better.  We work together smoothly, but largely in silence.

On one of my many trips into the kitchen, Leonard asks, “Is the coffee ready?”

“Almost,” I reply cheerfully, proud that everything will be ready for opening.

“Want to grab Edgar a cup before he leaves?  And grab his dishes?”

I nod, but I am nervous. Why would Edgar come here like that?

Knowing from past breaks together that he takes his coffee black, I pour a cup and approach where Edgar is sitting, not sure what to say.

“Thankss, Scharah,” he mumbles as I approach, “Guess I bedder ge’ goin’ soon.” Edgar’s normally lazy way of talking blends together, making him hard to understand.

“Okay, see you next week?” I ask.

“Soundsh goo’.”

When I come out of the kitchen next time, he is gone, empty coffee cup in the correct bin.  Denise and I take care of things up front during service too.  Denise seems nervous to talk to people.  She keeps looking down, mumbling when she has to tell them which bins the dishes go in.

One of the regular patrons comes in, eyes darting, walk unsteady and cautious.  She begins to hold her hands out in front of her, as though she is trying to see straight, like after an amusement park ride. Her face red and puffy, despite her thinness, and her lips are permanently chapped. Her long dark hair, run though with grey, is neatly braided. She looks 60 or older, but is probably much younger. Drinking Lysol makes people old fast.

I meet her in the dining area, “I’ll get some for you; you just take a seat?” She nods, still looking at the worn floral carpet directly in front of her, so I continue: “Coffee or tea?”

She raises her head, glassy eyes meeting mine, and smiles widely, her two bottom front teeth missing or broken, “You ga tea? That’d be nis.”

Most people take milk and sugar, at Meals Shared. They seem to have learned to say if they don’t, so I make her tea with both and bring her tray to the table. The chilli is nice and hot; the salad cold.  Gives her options.

The patron looks at me, misty eyed.  I guess in her intoxication, she is touched by the food.

Smiling, still with tears threatening to fall, she says, “You are nis. How’d a white girl like you ge’ so nis?”

She has just drawn attention to something that we don’t usually talk about at Meals Shared: most of the patrons and volunteers are of Indigenous descent. I am not.  While I am attempting to find an answer, something that will tell her that difference is amazing, that we are all equal, something that will reassure her that not all white people are judgmental, she turns her attention to her tray and begins to loudly eat the chilli.  Looks like she forgot about me.

*****

Bev is in the kitchen instead of Leonard.  As I am washing my hands, Rob joins me, waiting his turn at the sink.

“Leonard’s back is bad,” Rob answers my unasked question.  “Not in today. Been using his cane some, too.”

“So you’re helping Bev?” I am trying to figure out if Rob is here doing fine option again. It’s better not to ask those kinds of things.

“Sort of, but there was this fine from a long time ago….”

“Well, nice to see you.  What should I do?”

“Soup’s on.  Wanna help make grilled cheese?”

Rob and I use six frying pans on the old stove to to the grill part of grilled cheese, while other volunteers smear margarine on the backside of each slice of more than day old white bread from the Safeway across town.  Rob and I develop a rhythm. We each put down one slice, followed by cheese, followed by another slice of bread,  flip the one in the next pan and take the third one off.  Then we do it again.

Rob tells me he is going to school three days a week, needs one more class, then can start his course to be a commercial cook.

*****

Thursdays are working out well.  I almost always get here in time to help set up.  And Edgar and I have worked together nearly every Thursday since school started.

The table for the dish tubs is set up perpendicular to the alcove used for desserts and drinks, making an L shape.  Typically, Edgar and I stand behind the short end of the L.  We talk about all kinds of things between patrons.  He has great stories about all the places he has worked, his daughter and his granddaughter.

From where we stand, we can keep an eye on the desserts, make sure water and coffee supplies are stocked, help people get their dishes in the right bus tub and keep an eye out for people that need help carrying food or drink to their tables.

Edgar is in the kitchen, having carried a bus tub to the dishwasher, when a man called ‘Taz’ comes to the back side of the table, where I am standing, to put his dishes away.  He comes in often; he knows that dishes are usually put away from the other side of the table.

I don’t think Taz is very old, and he and his friend seem better dressed than most other patrons.  Today he is wearing a black leather jacket and a fitted red ball cap, with an NBA logo on it, over his short black hair.  The “colours” rule only applies to volunteers.

He smiles widely at me as he puts his dishes away. I take a step back, giving him room, he takes one towards me, matching me.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he breathes fumes in my face. It’s alcohol, but hard for me to know what kind.  Maybe beer and something else?  It’s not like I am going to ask.

“It’s Sarah,” I remind him.

*

A few weeks back, on a day when Edgar came in, but couldn’t work, this man had stopped to talk to me as he had put his dishes away and helped a little boy carry a drink one back to his table, while I cleaned up a spill.  He had asked me my name back then; told me he was Taz.

“Sarah’s a nice name, goes with your hair,” Taz said.

“Thank you,” I responded politely, not sure exactly what that meant.

He asked other questions, too.  Keeping in mind Leonard’s rules, I hadn’t told him my last name or what school I went to.  

“You must have changed schools this year? Seems like you come at different days and times now,” Taz comments. He follows up with, “Are you in highschool now?”

I’m not yet, but, as I was deciding whether to answer, Taz smiled and said, “Talk to you another time.”

He went to his table to get his friend and they both left, just as Leonard had walked over, limp barely showing, to get a cup of coffee.  He never asks anyone to help him even on bad days, but sometimes when it’s bad, we just do it. His face was set in a scowl.  But I didn’t think it was pain.  Pain looks less….intimidating.

“What was he saying, Red?”

“Just asking about school and stuff.  He was helping too.”

“Okay.  Be careful how much you tell him?”

“Sure, I remember.”

“Good.”  Again, with the period, no questions invited.

*

So Taz knows my name.  Even said he liked it.

“Yes, Sarah, I know,” Taz says, again stepping forward.

I don’t like this. I am getting closer to the wall behind me. I look around, thinking to catch the attention of someone serving food.  Oh, good, Edgar is coming back.  He will get Taz to go sit down, finish his dessert and leave.  Edgar almost always handles the drunk people, if they are not being loud, he just gets them food and asks them to be quick. If they are disruptive, he asks them to leave. They listen to him.

But Edgar is not approaching us in his normal casual way of walking.  His steps, always long, are rapid and purposeful.  Edgar steps behind the table, right between me and Taz, forcing me to back up a few more steps.

“Time for you to leave,” Edgar almost growls, looking down at Taz.  I see Taz’s hazy eyes widen, I guess he is as surprised as I am.

“I’ll just finish my coffee…” Taz begins, meeting Edgar, almost chest to chest, despite Edgar being much taller.

“No, you are leavin’ now.” Edgar is talking low, voice intense.  Then he starts moving forward, forcing Taz to back up, like Taz was doing to me earlier.  After a few steps, the younger man turns and begins to unevenly walk away.  Edgar follows him closely, towards the front door.  Making sure Taz leaves, I guess.



© 2017 Shannon


Author's Note

Shannon
Even though Sarah really doesn't understand the significance of the last scene and the last flash back, can the reader?

Do you want to hear more of what Rob had to say while making sandwiches?

Always open to constructive feedback and title suggestions! Thank you for reading.

My Review

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Reviews

Your characters seem to becoming more and more real. I find it interesting that the two men instead of fostering a love interest seem instead to to provide a protective cocoon around Sarah. Am I misreading this?

Take care - Dave

Posted 5 Years Ago


I am really fond of Rob. It's sweet he "remembered" his old fine. I'd love to hear more from him.

The thing with Taz still confuses me a bit because I don't understand the lay out.

I like the Lysol lady and that interchange.

I'm still very invested in your characters. I want to see what happens next.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Shannon

7 Years Ago

Thank you. I will look at making that clearer while maintaining Sarah's voice. Trying to help the re.. read more
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Shannon

7 Years Ago

Glad you are enjoying them.
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AUU
So here's my list. Don't think you need to address any of it.

1. "Lots of vegetables with soft spots donated." So this line was kind of clunky for me. I understand that they are old vegetables, and I think you were trying say that with the "soft spot" lines, and I like the description, but I don't think it's fitting in dialogue. What you're trying to communicate is that a lot of vegetables were donated and that Leonard is going to make chili and salad with them. So I think you should say as much. "We have a lot of old vegetables, so I plan on making chili and salad."

2. I like how you show that the POV is cutting up a beat, instead of saying vaguely "...trimming some of the beat up vegetables." The more details like this the better.

3. So the POV is a bit of a motor mouth. That's a nice detail.

4." Satisfied that Bev will like my idea too..." I'm sorry who is Bev, and why would they be satisfied with the POV's "idea?"

5. "...idea..." so I found this word to describe the POV's "plan" (a noun) a little jarring. Reader's like repetition with their nouns. I think you should keep calling it a plan, but I understand your want to use a variety of words.

6. "...and had to figure it out..." The figure it out is a bit redundant. The words before hand do a well enough job alluding that the POV was driving a boat despite not knowing how...so we know he had to "figure it out."

7. I like the description of Leonard's brief displeasure.

8. The way you describe Edgar's walk is very telling of why he's there at the Kitchen. Great work.

9. "Stopping by the stainless steel....which he hands to Rob." I think you can say this line with fewer words. I'll give you an example so you know what I'm saying. "Leonard picks up a bowl and a large plate from a stainless steel shelf and hands them to Rob." And I'm sure my sentence can be cut even further. When it comes to action, I think using the fewest words possible, better help illustrates the action to the reader.

10. "Get some of that chili..." This dialogue confused me. I think it's because it's Leonard speaking, but since it's not attached to the above action, it reads as if Rob is speaking.

11. "...hey?" I like it. Reminds me of the setting. Good work.

12. "When Edgar isn't here. But Edgar is here..." Was this inner monologue? I was a bit confused. I know this story is in first person, but this still made me pause. Not sure.

13. I enjoyed the interaction between the POV and Denise. It's very natural and easy to follow.

14. ""Sure." Denise replies flatly, but walks..." I think the "but" is redundant. I think the the dialogue, and the tag "replies flatly" does well enough on its own to show that Denise is disinterested.

15. "Empty vessels." This is a nitpick. I like this description, I'm just not entirely sure if it's needed to describe pitchers...or bowls, or whatever.

16. "...sort of like light colored barcodes..." That's a terrifically descriptive line!

17. "...in the correct bin." I don't know what your referring to. What would be the incorrect bin? What bin?

18. Hmmm...so at first Sarah is I'm guessing intimidated by Edgar. Why? Because of Edgar and Leonard's harsh interaction? Then on Thursday, they seem fine. I think giving Sarah a voicing reason why she was nervous when pouring his coffee.

19. So I think the explanation of Taz's history with Sarah is a bit useless. The entire scene can be summarized with the "I remind him" tag. What that tells the reader is that Sarah already had an interaction with this character who either forgot her name. In instances like this dialogue speaks volumes more than exposition.

20. "Sarah's a nice name, goes with your hair." I really like this line. This is great detail. This line alone makes Taz seem more like a creep than any exposition could.

21. He never asks anyone to help him...we just do it." This line captures the atmosphere of the kitchen.

22. "Be careful how much you tell him?" Why is this line a question?

23. "So Taz knows my name. Even said he liked it..." This jump in the scene is very jarring. I'm not sure where the characters are, or why Taz is suddenly back.

So I liked this chapter. I can tell both Edgar and Leonard have a lot in common, but somethings seems off between them. What I found distraction was the breaks. They didn't seem natural, and I lost the scene in each one.

Keep at it!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


Shannon

8 Years Ago

Thank you for so much for the detailed feedback. I appreciate all of it and hope to reciprocate soon.. read more
This was a marvelously written chapter, S. Mi. You have improved so much by adding detail, that makes the reader see what is going on. I could see the whole interaction with Tax and Edgar clear as a day, and I think Edgar was playing Mama bear protecting Sarah from the too friendly Taz. I look forward to read the next chapter.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


Shannon

8 Years Ago

Thank you for reading. Glad you could see it. In hindsight, they both were pretty protective.
I have thoroughly enjoyed every chapter thus far and eagerly await more of this well written and very interesting story. I enjoy learning with the character (Sarah). Seems like an atmosphere were stories would thrive. Bravo too for going to the effort of writing a chapter story. That takes dedication! Thanks for sharing S.Mi. :)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


Shannon

8 Years Ago

Thank you Andronicus for continuing to read this far. Honestly, I am not sure how I could have told.. read more
You are amazing at describing day-to-day situations. It feels like the reader is actually there in the kitchen. The dialogues have a good, nice flow.

There were a lot of characters introduced and that got a bit confusing at times, but I must admit I did not read all the preceding chapters, sorry for that.

Good work, keep it up!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


Shannon

8 Years Ago

Thank you for reading. Glad that it feels real for you. There are a lot of characters introduced a.. read more
YES! I take it Taz(manian Devil) (sorry, I think I'm funny) is one of the too friendly ones. Looking forward to more adventures from this little kitchen. It also feels like the story has stopped drifting on the lake and has started down the river.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


Shannon

8 Years Ago

Little punny at least, hey?
I really appreciate the continued reading and feedback which wi.. read more
This is the best chapter of this book so far & it's way beyond the previous chapters. It's like something just "clicked" in your storytelling, in a very good way. Before there was a bit of wandering here & there, or maybe some hesitation in the way you stated your various descriptions & actions. But in this chapter, it started feeling like you are owning this story now. You are telling each sequence of events with purpose, like you finally know where you want it to go & what you want your reader to feel & observe with each aspect of your crafting -- dialogue, description, & action. Your storytelling just became more purposeful, as if you are in control of how you want the reader to respond. Your characters are like real people, in the way you portray their feelings & responses. It's great the way you show half the interactions between people by using body language, not just relying solely on dialogue. You're really starting to kill this now.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


Shannon

8 Years Ago

I am really appreciating people's different perspectives on this little journey. I am learning much.. read more
barleygirl

7 Years Ago

I like the way you are SHOWING us Edgar's drinking problem here, after the AA discussion in the last.. read more
Shannon

7 Years Ago

Thank you barleygirl. As always, I appreciate your thoughts and the time and effort you put into bot.. read more
I figured out Edgar came in drunk once or twice and couldn't work. That was pretty plain. I was unsure if Sarah knew what was going on, but I certainly did. That thing with Taz sounded pretty scary for Sarah and I'm glad Edgar was there to protect her. I saw how ugly that could have gotten, but apparently Sarah did not. At least, that was my take on the scene. And now it makes sense Edgar is always out front. They need a bouncer.

This was a good chapter. Describing Taz' and Denise's clothing helped me see things in my mind. Clothing is a good way to tell the reader something about the character... the colors thing for example. I'm finding Sarah's reactions to various things I know about but are unfamiliar to her interesting. The cuts on Denise's arms for example. Sarah is learning a lot about the world.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


Shannon

8 Years Ago

Thank you for the review SN. Glad to see that what is happening comes through. Because I know what.. read more

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Added on October 22, 2016
Last Updated on February 13, 2017


Author

Shannon
Shannon

Canada



About
I like to explore the world through the human experience, at once both varied and singular. Reading, writing and meeting people makes one's world larger. I enjoy connecting with people, learning.. more..

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