haiku

haiku

A Poem by Shannon

debris filled hollow
rotting stench, mouldering leaves
sapling breaking through

© 2016 Shannon


Author's Note

Shannon
A little something to get me thinking again.
Was aiming for the set up and reveal someone told me was indicative of this form.
Any constructive feedback welcome (even if poetry people never seem to agree with each other)!


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Featured Review

I'm not a poetry people but I really enjoyed this little haiku :) I liked the way it starts off all dark and scary sounding and then lo and behold! Hope springs forth in the last line! Reminds me of that old proverb 'without mud there is no flower' :) Nice one S.Mi!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shannon

8 Years Ago

I really appreciate you taking the time to read. Especially as it is not really your thing.



Reviews

a little bit of life amd prettiness among all the mouldering debis of life...summed up in so few words...excellent

Posted 8 Years Ago


Shannon

8 Years Ago

Thank you. These short ones sometimes challenge me.
A ray of hope arising when all around you the world is dark. A lovely message. Something positive will sprout up even when their is dirt all around

*shabeeh*

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shannon

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much for reading. Yes I wanted hope to be clear.
...oh and you said you weren't sure about poetry-
brilliance here my friend-
yes, j. said it well- we all wished we had written this one.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shannon

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much. The encouragement has been amazing!
I'm not a poetry people but I really enjoyed this little haiku :) I liked the way it starts off all dark and scary sounding and then lo and behold! Hope springs forth in the last line! Reminds me of that old proverb 'without mud there is no flower' :) Nice one S.Mi!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shannon

8 Years Ago

I really appreciate you taking the time to read. Especially as it is not really your thing.
through the ugly comes the beauty....just like in life...this is fantastic!

one i wish i had written.

j.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Shannon

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much for the encouragement. I really appreciate. This ad ware is making it hard to ke.. read more
This is truly brilliant! So different than the haiku you usually read. Usually, it's about lovely things. But here, you've shown us the loveliness in rotting things in nature. You have chosen every word to have maximum impact & imagery, which is important in these very short poems. I wonder if the last line has 5 syllables? I only count 4?

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shannon

8 Years Ago

This ad ware is killing me. Thank you so much for the very positive review. I changed the wording. .. read more
barleygirl

8 Years Ago

Yes, I'm getting the dumb pop-ups every other day or so . . . *sheesh!*
What a lovely use of the word 'debris'... The last line got me thinking... It feels like life is flowing even after the heavy destruction... Excellent Haiku...

Sincerely
Dhiman

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shannon

8 Years Ago

Thank you do much. Debris a powerful word.

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623 Views
17 Reviews
Added on May 1, 2016
Last Updated on May 19, 2016

Author

Shannon
Shannon

Canada



About
I like to explore the world through the human experience, at once both varied and singular. Reading, writing and meeting people makes one's world larger. I enjoy connecting with people, learning.. more..

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