haiku

debris filled hollow
rotting stench, mouldering leaves
sapling breaking through

Author's Note

A little something to get me thinking again.
Was aiming for the set up and reveal someone told me was indicative of this form.
Any constructive feedback welcome (even if poetry people never seem to agree with each other)!

Reviews

[Stan Lee]

I'm not a poetry people but I really enjoyed this little haiku :) I liked the way it starts off all dark and scary sounding and then lo and behold! Hope springs forth in the last line! Reminds me of that old proverb 'without mud there is no flower' :) Nice one S.Mi!

[Shannon]

I really appreciate you taking the time to read. Especially as it is not really your thing.

[Hi]

Solid contrast; a positive haiku. Thanks.

[Shannon]

Thank you. I am drawn to contrast, even contradiction at times.

[Jacob Clifford]

Interesting comparison between the decayed and the living. I've never thought much about haikus, but I like this one.

[Shannon]

Haiku: a little mental excersize. Thanks for the kind review, glad you liked it.

[Lyn Anderson]

the thing I like about this is how it contrasts the decay with the new growth, which is, in fact, life -- a very effective haiku.

[Shannon]

Thank you, I see beauty in that natural process, so a haiku seemed like a good fit.

[Papaya]

This is super, it makes me think of the dirty ugliness left behind from winter.
The mud, the gunk and then voila! A wee sapling breaking through to announce the arrival of Spring!

[Shannon]

Thanks Papaya! Winter / spring a good interpretation. Appreciate the review.

[Lost, n'MT]

Hollow this is not
Despite few words to surface
Though each says a lot

Though I am don't have any experience with haiku poems, I always admire when I see a haiku that's well constructed and either expresses emotion and/or paints I picture. I feel you painted a nice picture with just 17 syllables to use, and the imagery is well depicted. Nicely done.

[Shannon]

This kind of review means a lot to me. I know you like poems, but maybe check out "Difference :Aphantasia" to get a better understanding of my writing. And send me to one of yours.

[Lost, n'MT]

Just checked it out, powerful read. Not sure what I'd recommend to get a better understanding of me. I suppose "Broken Soul" and "Flash From The Past" are two pieces that I cannot read and haven't read in years. "Non EX-istent" I wrote during my lowest point, but from a writing perspective... I think "Rejection", "Selective Memory", "My Message In A Botle", and "What About This Meaning Of Life" are ones I remember being satisfied with, although I haven't read those either in quite some but usually enjoy when I do. Feel free to pick or choose anything you wish, no feedback or review is required if you do read. I appreciate you asking though, and I really enjoyed your recommendation.

[GalaxyGhost]

This is a nice, simple poem that seems to describe a forest possibly in the early spring where the sapling trees break through the rotting leaves on the forest floor from the last year. I like how the readers can almost smell that stench of decaying leaves.

[Shannon]

Thank you. I am glad I could paint that picture with only a few words

[GalaxyGhost]

You're welcome!

[GreenShoes]

Haha, I love what you said, "poetry people never seem to agree with each other." That's funny.
I think this is a rather nice haiku. In fact, I think it's perfect. :))

[Shannon]

Thank you so much for stopping by to read. My last one, I had many differing opinions on the title... ☺

[GreenShoes]

I think I read that haiku isn't supposed to have a title, but if you write a bunch of them, how do you differentiate one from the other? Some people give their poems a number instead of a title, but I'm not a fan of that. I'd say you did the right thing.

[Shannon]

Thank you so much. Still pretty uncertain about this poerty thing.

[GreenShoes]

Go to www.shadowpoetry.com and you will see many different poetry forms with instructions for each one. They have been very helpful to me.

[James Whitefall]

I like it. Simple, but it creates a scene I can see in my mind. Haikus are fun. Thanks for the read

[Shannon]

Thanks. A fun little mental excersize.