Contest

Slippery skin, swishing tails

Fisher’s fantasy

Casting line after line

Lures virtual chameleons

Lives collide

Battle ensues

Victory

Author's Note

Key words integrated. I always admire those who have an economy of words, so thought I would try to pull back. Did it work?
Comments and constructive feedback always welcome.

Reviews

[Stan Lee]

The first two lines were brilliant. The use of alliteration at it's best! I was thrown by "Lures virtual chameleons" might consider saying 'Lures are virtual chameleons' ? So that dummies like me don't start thinking that you're luring a chameleon ;)
Lots of great descriptive language. Nice poem S.Mi!

[Shannon]

Thanks! May look at changing it, was worried Ir would interrupt flow and make that line very long in comparison.

[barleygirl]

I disagree . . . . reading "lures" as a verb!

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Shannon,
"Writing Contest"
Picture it: Splashing fish in sun.Joy of the fisherman cast on cast to lure hiding trout. Feel the pull; I have my dinner. What a fun poem, for it paints just the right picture. Good job. Loved the adventure!
Kathy

[Shannon]

Thank you Kathy. I appreciate the kinds words. This was a writing prompt, that I believe was intended to be somewhat risqué. I decided to turn it on it's head.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

You have done it! I'm glad you did.

[Jacob Clifford]

Very nice incorporation of words; you manage to say a good deal without many words. The poem is short and simple, but it has great imagery.

[Shannon]

Thanks so much for reading. Glad the imagery translated for you.

[Lost, n'MT]

The first line was my favorite, but I enjoyed the poem and imagery you depicted.
"Lures virtual chameleons" stands out because I find it to both be accurate, a very clever line, and a unique description.

While I cannot relate to fishing, you told and illustrated a very thorough glimpse through the eyes of an an observer between a battle and encounter between fisher(wo)man and a fish. I enjoyed this perspective and this poem, and I thought it was both well written with each line making an impact. Also, I find it impressive how you were able to capture so much so concisely.

I also had not read that this was a prompt until after I had read the piece. That being said, it really doesn't stand out and the entire piece flows smoothly, in my opinion. I enjoyed this, have a better understanding of the title, and I also enjoyed the picture as well.

[Shannon]

Thanks for reading and providing really nice feedback. Explaining what stands out in a good way is very helpful too!
I appreciate the imagery comment especially.

[Lost, n'MT]

You're welcome. I am glad I could be of some help.
You were successful with the imagery, in multiple ways... Very intriguing piece the more times you read it.

[Papaya]

I like this, it sounds fun and playful to me!

[Shannon]

Thanks a lot for reading!

[Alfred Kukitz]

A good piece of minimalism!

Regards,
Al

[Shannon]

Thanks Al for both the read and the review.

[Lyn Anderson]

A nicely written poem -- lots of impact with few words -- a list of the words that needed to be used would be helpful in the note.

[Shannon]

They were a prompt only. Plus I like to see if I can integrate them so people can't guess.

[Lyn Anderson]

I like to do that too, but since your question asked "how did I do" I was taking it as with the given words. It's nice to meet and chat with you, and I look forward to reading more.

[Shannon]

Me too KL!

[Nisreen]

I feel this motion when i read this piece
Trying to grab hold of something so illusive and fleeting
only to reach the ultimate victory of grabbing hold of it all

[Shannon]

Thank you. I am glad the feeling had impact.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

I think you did a wonderful job with this! I am guilty of using to much explanation sometimes and try occasionally to use fewer words... It is a challenge. You created a vivid scene of the contest and the
"Slippery fins, swishing tails
Fisher’s fantasy" set it off perfectly and made it clear.
Great job!

[Shannon]

Thank you for stopping by. I will continue with my verbose tales for sure, but this is a nice reminder to choose them more carefully from time to time.

[James Whitefall]

I'm not sure that this is my type of poem, but when you read lures in other ways I like the line. Thanks for the read.