Shiny New Red Bicycle

For those who see the humor in the everyday.

We set out to buy my husband a new bicycle, my son and I.  In his preschool enthusiasm, he knows one thing: it must be red.  I know the size required and that my husband’s birthday is tomorrow; he will be truly surprised, as I have had to save for months for this purpose. We will leave it in our neighbors home until morning, then surprise him with it at breakfast.  It is the first time I have managed such a surprise.

I am relived, upon arriving at the big box store, that one the appropriate bikes in my price range is red.  My little boy is thrilled that his dad’s new bike will match his own.  I pay for the purchase and take it to the parking lot.  Where my plan very rapidly begins to fall apart.

I try to put the bike across the back seat to no avail. No matter which angle I try and how I move the handle bars, it is not even close. Perhaps I can somehow prop it in the front?  I am unable to even get the whole bike in the front, as the angles on the bicycle and the angles on the door prove to be completely incompatible. Aha!  The back seat folds down into the trunk.  Surely I have room for one adult sized bike in the trunk and back set combined!  No such luck.

I am rapidly running out of ideas and my son is rapidly running out of patience.  I have no rope and worry that I will not be able to secure the bike to my car securely enough to manage to get up the large hill that run through the city and looms between where I am now and where I need to be, using the bungee cords.  I finally settle on going back into the store to call my father in law to bring his van.

During the wait, I coach my son on what a surprise means, how it is different from lying and how much dad will like his surprise in the morning. My father in law comes to my rescue and the bike is safely transported to my home and tucked away in my neighbors front room.  My husband is already home. 

My son, very keen on keeping our surprise very confidently tells his father: “Dad, we didn’t buy you a bike today”!

Author's Note

A few of my oldest Café friends have commented recently about this, my very first story in 20 years.

Someone wisely pointed out how humorous my brief foray into this topic was in my last piece. So I wrote this one in response.

Reviews

[Woody]

fun little write, S. I like the description of the struggle to ft the bike in the car. that's funny. you managed to create a clear picture in the reader's mind.
the last line's the cherry on the cake. children can come up with the most astounding sentences.
no suggestions for improvement except check your tenses. you chose to tell the story in the present tense but at times lapsed iinto the past.
"no matter which angle I tried........"
"I coached my son"
this sometimes happens to me when I choose the present tense.

[Shannon]

Thank you so much for the read. And the feedback. Funny thing is, this is somethings I often catch in other people's writings! I will make changes once I am on a desk top!

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Shannon,
You have entered into an area which seems intimidating to me; writing a narrative. I suppose that it's about doing it.
It did me a lot of good to read this story of your family experience. It is so cheerful and true to life and just seemed real, refreshing and just plain fun!
I smiled in my heart at your explanation while waiting for dad in law to come to the rescue and your young son's helpful explanation to his papa. Very cute!!!
Blessings, as always to you.
Kathy

[Samuel Dickens]

What a cute story, and one that's wholly believable. I'll bet Dad enjoyed it.

[Shannon]

Thank you. Yes, he did very much.

[Hi]

Very amusing. Thanks.

It has me thinking what kids actually understand and what they don't. One thing that's usually common is kids being blunt, or at least looking that way to us.

[Shannon]

This was my first story in decades. I see some mechanical issues now. But the end holds up despite all that, I think.

Thanks for the read and review.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Nice story. I never ere to reading this, but red is the ideal color for a fun bike. The end was funny too!

[Shannon]

Thanks for the review, but I am not sure I understand "I never ere to reading this".

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Lol, I meant, I never thought about it "ere (before) to reading it," about a bike being red.

[Shannon]

Ah, apologies. Thank you for clarifying. And yes it needed to be red!

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

You're most welcome!

[Francisco]

A story very funny. Children, unexpectedly, give a surprising twist to any plan that you can do. Apart from this, the unexpected, such as the size of the bicycle and car space, forced to think of other alternatives.

[Shannon]

Thank you Fransisco, for stopping by to read. I am glad you see the humor.

[Shannon]

Thank you Fransisco, for stopping by to read. I am glad you see the humor.

[Lost, n'MT]

"Where my plan very rapidly begins to fall apart." immediately stands out to me as I immediately am taken aback as to which turn this story is taking. It wasn't sure where this story was going, but it turned out very different from what I had expected and I thought it was fantastic. A wonderful ending, and I cannot believe I didn't see it coming. Wonderfully written story on so many levels, I wish I had read it sooner.

[Papaya]

LOL. This made me laugh because my kids have blurted stuff out like this. I'm surprised he didn't say 'we didn't buy you a bike and it's not red'. This is cute, I loved reading this story this morning. It made me smile.

[Shannon]

Thanks. At least he never got much better at lying....

[Papaya]

That is a very good thing!

[Jon Roggie]

This is worth a smile. Isn't life grand?

[Shannon]

Thanks. I was so scared to put this one out there. Considering whether to leave it a little time capsule (dramatic words, it's 4 months old) or revise...

[Jon Roggie]

Personally, I just write and post. If you have a story, it is meant to be told. Even if we mess it up!

[Dave]

S. After all that struggle! I bet your husband still loved the "surprise." I loved your story.
I think the concept of surprise is a bit much for little children. I assume you didn't admonish him for spoiling it. As I said I'm sure your husband really loved his surprise and the fact that now he'll be able to ride his along side his sons'.

[Shannon]

Thanks for reading. He couldn't keep a secret or tell a lie effectively for years after most kids could. So no, he wasn't in trouble.

[Dave]

I'm glad! I guess you should be glad about his inability to lie.