The unanticipated lesson!

Some people appear fierce; but every person fierce or meek; has a soft-corner in him/her!

I walked through the busy street here and there,

I realized he followed me everywhere,

I budged into the shopping mall out of nowhere,

Only to be stalked by his incessant stare,

I tried to ignore him, met an old friend,

Yet, this mysterious man's gaze knew no end!

Then I walked down the lane, as fast as I could,

Suddenly he approached; before me he stood!

Frightened by the unwelcoming gesture,

I stood horrified, in a shriveled posture!

I observed the bizarre man's sickening beard,

The more I looked on, the more I feared!

He ogled at me with gaping eyes,

Then, put his hand into his pocket-wide!

And suddenly, something strange happened!

Tears rolled down the man's cheeks,

Tears that could melt even the snowiest peaks..

He showed me the picture of a beautiful girl,

and said, "She's my princess. My dearest daughter!

She died last year in a false encounter...

Hazel-eyed and cheery-smiled was she,

As similar to you, as can be!" :-(

Wiping his tears, he fumbled,

"Be happy, my child. May you be blessed!"

And then he disappeared among the rest!

I stood there awe-struck with reception,

Learning that appearances are often subjective to deception!

Author's Note

This, perhaps, is the worthiest lesson we must learn!

Reviews

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

A very unexpected turn of events! Very are so guarded nowadays judging everyone by the way they look, and then they pleasantly surprise us, blessing us with a piece of their soul and gracing us with their brief kindness. And most importantly, teaching us to be humble once again and to not judge so fast.

[Rene Salinas]

In terms of Structure a discrete poem but what hits me first of, is the selection of bold which takes my attention into a moment of a questioning. Why to use bold along the whole of the writing? As I can't find the answer to the question I will leave it as it is. It is certainly distracting. Continuing with the Structure of it, it seems that you wanted to convey a narrative but still going through the "perils" of the discrete form. If so then the comma at the end would signifiy and indentation and you should then begin the next line with a capital and avoid symbols that relate to the world of "nettiquete."

In terms of Theme again it is certainly an enigmatic narrative. An unlikely encounter which of course shows the randomness of modernity as we never know who is behind the mask. A moment of reflection and for me a reminder to let the ones that conform your circle that you love them or something a long those lines.

The Dialogue changes from mysterious to embracing as the reality of feeling expressed by the Man are unavoidably tender.

Grammar & typos -- "The more I looked on, the more I feared!" for "The more I looked at", the more I feared!"

I guess you went for american spelling and kept it consistent. "and said, "She's my princess. My dearest daughter!" [And] if you will keep it as a discrete poem.

"As similar to you, as can be!" :-(" -- if that is a representation at a smiley face then of course I would suggest not to use it.

Watch your excalmation marks the overuse of it could alter the emotional significance of the writing.

For me then it would be interesting to see if you would embrace this as a prose - poem and then delve into the narrrative and change the horizontal appeal to a linear sequence. Ultimately all suggestions for you to ponder; take what you find significant and ignore anything that is not helpful.

Thank you for the invite.

[Samhitha Mopati]

I would certainly look into the errors you have reported.Thank you for the review.It actually helped! :)

[Mai L Nissen]

This is quite heartbreaking! Well, I did not see this coming... Nice twist!
I really like this description:
"Wiping his tears, he fumbled,
"Be happy, my child. May you be blessed!"
I kinda want to jump in and hug him!

"And then he disappeared among the rest!" gives me the feeling of him almost ceasing to exist...
Thank you for sharing!

[Samhitha Mopati]

Thank you for dropping by & accepting my RR! :)

[nazia]

Excellent work.. the description of fear was really breath taking.. and the ending absolutely unexpected.. kudos

[Samhitha Mopati]

:)











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[CA Anurag Sharma]

i liked the ending of it... it was worth a read... real good one...

[Samhitha Mopati]

Thanks for sparing the time to read! :-)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is soooooooooooo moving....

wow.

what a twist...and yes, we are surely a society now that is so paranoid, and perhaps with really good reason.

[Samhitha Mopati]

Feels great to be reviewed by an English professor ! :)

[Bushra Naqshbandi]

A lesson everybody needs to learn depicted in the best possible manner. Standing ovation for this. Awesome poem. :)

[Samhitha Mopati]

Thanks a ton for sparing time to read and drop a wonderful review ! :)

[Bushra Naqshbandi]

You're most welcome. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A very sad poem. I agree. We never know what someone wants from us.
"Be happy, my child. May you be blessed!"
And then he disappeared among the rest!
I stood there awe-struck with reception,
Learning that appearances are often subjective to deception!"
Sometime we learn. All of us hold regret and need for missed faces. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Samhitha Mopati]

:) You are welcome!

[Deepika]

It was creepy initially, but an unexpected twist! A remarkable write! Keep up :)

[Samhitha Mopati]

Thanks for the review! :)








read moreThanks for the review! :)























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[Deepika]

lol..why does your reply appear creepy as well to me! XD

[Samhitha Mopati]

Don't worry..No unexpected twist here ! :P Is it because of the "car games ad?" Well, I'm not knowing what to do with it!






















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[Deepika]

Haha XD there's 'read more' for most comments of which some are non expandable and few others have car games ad with some amount of scrolling..now that adds unanticipated twist to your comments :D

[....................]

Never judge a book by it's cover in a raw and poetic form. A great story!

[Samhitha Mopati]

Glad you like it FT! :) You've always been humble to my poems...:D



read moreGlad you like it FT! :) You've always been humble to my poems...:D






















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[Sean Sog Miller]

OMG Had me in suspense all the way you are truly a captivating writer, do you do novels?

[Samhitha Mopati]

No, I've just begun writing! I wish and hope to write my own novel sometime later! :) What about you?























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[Sean Sog Miller]

You really should, you are a real talent, love your work.
I am in the process of doing so, you can check it out here - https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/wrong-love/x/9215324