Golden Slumber

This is a lullaby sung in my book. I wrote it myself. This is a different version of the song by the Beatles. Most credit goes to them. Hope u enjoy!

 

Once there was a way to get back homeward

Once there was a way to get back home

Sleep pretty love bird,

Do not cry

And I will sing you a lullaby

 

Golden slumber kiss your eyes,
Smiles await you when you rise.
Sleep, pretty baby,
Do not cry,
And you will always be mine.

 

Sweet Dreams are fulfilled

Bad Dreams are gone and stilled

Sleep my child,

Do not cry,

And I will sing you a lullaby

 

  Golden slumber kiss your eyes,
Smiles await you when you rise.
Sleep, pretty baby,
Do not cry,
And you will always be mine.

Care is heavy, therefore sleep,
While I watch do keep.
Sleep, sweet darling,
Do not cry,
And I will sing you a lullaby

Golden slumber kiss your eyes,
Smiles await you when you rise.
Sleep, pretty baby,
Do not cry,
And I will love you till the end of time.

Author's Note

This is one of the first songs i have ever written so cut me some slack. Criticism is welcome!

Reviews

[Blackbirdsong]

Actually this is plagiarized from an original and copyrighted Beatles' song.

http://www.chordie.com/chord.pere/getsome.org/guitar/olga/chordpro/b/Beatles/GoldenSlumbers.chopro

"- John Lennon and Paul McCartney
(The Beatles - from the album Abbey Road)

[Golden Slumbers]
Once there was a way to get back homeward
Once there was a way to get back home
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby

Golden slumbers fill your eyes
Smiles awake you when you rise
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby

Once there was a way to get back homeward
Once there was a way to get back home
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby

[Carry That Weight]
Boy, you're gonna carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time
Boy, you're gonna carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time

I never give you my pillow
I only send you my invitation
And in the middle of the celebrations
I break down

Boy, you're gonna carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time
Boy, you're gonna carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time

Yeah, all right!
Are you gonna be in my dreams, tonight?

And in the end
The love you take
Is equal to the love you make"

It's one thing to be influenced by someone but this is more than simply being influenced. Yes you have changed a word here and there, but it's clear that this is not your original work. If you are seriously thinking of publishing this as your own you could get in a lot of trouble, so my advice since this was probably a mistake on your part is to continue to be influenced by things like this, but then to write something that is completely your own and publish that instead. I look forward to reading those works of yours.

take care :)

[Raymie Nite]

ill admit i might have done this but i didnt do it on purpose. I kno about the beatles and I luv them but i didnt kno they had written this song. Actually i had googled lullabies and a shorten version of this song had come up. But I will give the Beatles credit if it helps any.

[Rena]

I agree with Blackbirdsong, it seems you did copy the lyrics and changed a few words which is still plagiarism.

[Flow~]

You made me think of my mother and I wonder if she sung me lullabies to put me to sleep. I can tell this was a song and I like it as well though I can't hear any music, I did catch the beat and enjoyed the music in my head. I see you like to seek Criticism so let me see if I can find some for you, hmmmm Nope sorry your write is perfect as it is. Great write~

[MadasonBlue]

I like it. It's very nice. Good job. =)

[mae-mae<3]

This is so cute! I actually sang it out loud and I love it! Nicely done.

Your neighbor in words,

Mae