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Really, first poem ever, never liked poems seem kind of fruity in my opinion, but hey gotta learn to diversify

Looking over, to see, the ground, below
One step, two steps, and I fall
Down, Down, faster, and faster I go
I blink, once, twice, that’s all
Now my eyes close, I can see my life of sin
Now my heart stops, never to beat again.

Reviews

[Paige Sperry]

Not bad for a first poem, I think my first had to do with cats or something back in the second grade but that I will never dig up for fear of dying from shame. My only suggestion is to break the longer lines into shorter ones so the poem doesn't seem so short or rushed. I do like the premise of the poem however, and the last line is quite good. As for you comment about poems seeming fruity, that's only love poems, there is just something wrong with sitting there and writing 101 poems about a dead reationship or a crush from afar, I think if I read those as that person I'd be afraid I was being stalked, those are creepy but not really fruity. Oh, well I always thought short stories were more interesting than poems anyway. A good one none the less.