PREJUDICE

Of fairness in our judgment...

Perhaps the eye has a new role,
 Prying on others down to the neural,
Rational absence exhibited by the primary sense,
 Allowing only the ugly to penetrate its lens,
Eyeing the wrongs nullifying the droll,
 Magnifying own virtues however small,
Jailing-in shadows processed from misconcept
 Of those  unmistakably preferable to one's self.
Unending convergence of light's rays
 Suffice not in changing the dark ways
Distorting every pleasant mute action,
 Extracting the negative in immense proportion,
Inference contributing an insignificant fraction
 'cause all the eye wants is negative projection.
Can we at least flee from the unnatural,
 And for fairness set up an inaugural?
Erect ,clear images form in our eyes
 Only if we rid them of every trace of prejudice.
                                   Sinde.

Author's Note

It's clear...I hope.

Reviews

[Brook]

Wow, the way you wrote this was so beautiful and complex. The complexity that some people use often takes away from the overall meaning, but I found that this was not the case in your poem. For me, it added to it, rather than subtracting -- in most cases, anyway.

The suggestion I would make is to set up a better scheme for the stanzas so that your syllables match together better. Having a consistent scheme for the syllables helps the flow of a poem a lot. Also, in a few places, you substituted a complex word where a simple one would have sufficed. This gives the idea of a thesaurus, and while it's not bad to use one, I think it would be nice if you kept things simple in a few parts. The word "nullifying" especially.

I would consider revising "Of those unmistakably preferable to one's self." This portion seems a little bit awkward to me.

Just be careful not to forfeit meaning to rhyme. Keep an eye on that, because meaning is more valuable than having your words sound good side-by-side. Overall, well done. 95/100.

[Coyote Poetry]

Something are hard to erase. A lifetime of hate is hard to take away. I like the strong statements in the poem.
"Can we at least flee from the unnatural,
And for fairness set up an inaugural?"
I like the ending to this outstanding poem. Stopping prejudice will be a on going battle.
Coyote

[Linear]

Oh yes its clear, a magnificent piece of poetry, but alas it will just be blowing in the wind, I wish with all my heart that any form of prejudice did not exist, but the foolish and ignorant seem to flourish

[Bryan Micheni]

Ai, bloke... You're my new fave poet

[M.Babu]

"Erect ,clear images form in our eyes
Only if we rid them of every trace of prejudice."
This line just did it for me and so did other ones throughout this poem. However much your diction amazes me, i think it's clouding the flow abit. Your words are superb and clearly show your mastery of the language but as i was told "go easy on the words" and try going simpler and abit of free verse won't hurt. All the heavy wording jars the flow of the poem and constricts how you get the message out. I like this poem alot (because i used to write somehow like you)but i think you should go easier.
But overall i can't deny that the insight you show is as outstanding as usual and the subject matter was current. Good choice and good job right here! Nice one bro! Take my challenge and keep writing!!