I think that the intended, original shape of this poem, might suggest a souvenir from a holiday destination, a wonderful W African sculpture or artefact perhaps, the shape of this write was an organic process....
Unfortunately this program won't publish this poem to it's intended format....any suggestions would be much appreciated, thank you!!
My Review
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Last week at work I realised there were 9 people in the room and 9 different nationalities.
This 'luggage' pedantically lugged around can be unfortunate in such situations, and sometimes it is difficult to remain light on your feet.
You do these things so well Sheema, I like this one
Nice take on the insomniac mindset, you've certainly captured the state in which our minds grasp desperately at the correct terms to accurately describe present tense thoughts.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much for this thoughtful appraisal Tai.
I could tell you intended to put a shape to your writing. I just couldn't tell what that shape was. Now I know why :P I really enjoyed this one. It was very entertaining. I was smiling as I read it. The ending made me laugh. Great work here, Sheema!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I think that I incorporated some devastating experiences, and as they say, it is useful to laugh thr.. read moreI think that I incorporated some devastating experiences, and as they say, it is useful to laugh through adversities, however I am pleased that you were amused and laughed and indeed liked my poem, Siren, thanks for your support :)
I may use some of the words in this poem for my own work. It is like a spice cabinet of descriptive words, altering the taste and the composition of the entree... I for one am buying the loudest colour of luggage next time with HUGE wheels !!!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Compliments from a professional Chef and surging poet, I am flattered, thanks, I hope that you are .. read moreCompliments from a professional Chef and surging poet, I am flattered, thanks, I hope that you are keeping well.
Wow, this is like a poerty ink blot test. What a rad idea. "What do you see says Dr Huq." "Well, I see a person holding a piece of luggage, or an overview of a docked space-craft." Hmm, what do think that means? "I like the space craft metaphor better, because the nose of the craft stops right on the point where it says: "I believe I need a rest." "Pedantically," gives me this image of someone lecturing thier luggage on the burden of its weightiness. Definitely my fav word usage for the day!!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Oh gosh, what a pleasing comment from you dear Lee, I always appreciate your thought provoking comme.. read moreOh gosh, what a pleasing comment from you dear Lee, I always appreciate your thought provoking comments, and of how your unique mind works, much appreciated.
ohh yeh ou do,
and who can blame you for needing one after the long tedious waits in the airport waiting areas.
its even worse when you opt for the exchange kind of flights, i mean not the one way ones.
anyway... all that aside... its a great nice and as always your structure does it..
it nails the meaning and poem's purpose in!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
HI Luviva, this is a refreshing perspective, very observant of you, thanks kindly for dropping by.
Last week at work I realised there were 9 people in the room and 9 different nationalities.
This 'luggage' pedantically lugged around can be unfortunate in such situations, and sometimes it is difficult to remain light on your feet.
You do these things so well Sheema, I like this one
Your words remind me of how often I used to be "set off" by a single word, and go then, often for more than an hour romping through the dictionary from a word, to a reminder of another, and thus in carefree abandpn face into more ideas, and fascinating extensions of vocabulary.
-Dean
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thanks so much for your interesting commentary Dean