I like the way you portray the accident. As far as technical assistance, "onlookers" is one word and the word "cobalt" needs your attention. Also, "traumatize" has a z in place of an s. Just a bit of proofreading help with this well crafted piece; I enjoyed the read.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Hi there Fabian, apologies for this delayed reply! The US spellings are in the main with a 'z', wher.. read moreHi there Fabian, apologies for this delayed reply! The US spellings are in the main with a 'z', whereas in the UK,' we', (those who can spell or at least attempt to) by and large use 's', though, thanks ever so much, I am pleased to have a stickler for good spelling and punctuation as a friend and reviewer. The other two words have been attended to, much thanks to you!
I like the way you portray the accident. As far as technical assistance, "onlookers" is one word and the word "cobalt" needs your attention. Also, "traumatize" has a z in place of an s. Just a bit of proofreading help with this well crafted piece; I enjoyed the read.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Hi there Fabian, apologies for this delayed reply! The US spellings are in the main with a 'z', wher.. read moreHi there Fabian, apologies for this delayed reply! The US spellings are in the main with a 'z', whereas in the UK,' we', (those who can spell or at least attempt to) by and large use 's', though, thanks ever so much, I am pleased to have a stickler for good spelling and punctuation as a friend and reviewer. The other two words have been attended to, much thanks to you!
Amazing piece. Your presentation is always worth speculating. The sadness drops and comes up effectively like an oscillating pendulum. And then the bob loses the loop and falls away and happiness spreads. Very nice write.
Worth reading.
Wow . There is sadness in this poem along with suspension but happiness at the end . You are very masterful in taking simple events , adding drama and message then to give it full effect ...Bravo.
Wow, something like this must be a traumatizing experience to witness... I'm so glad no one was injured, but the memories of that, the stress and the vividness of experience which you conveyed... stays with you... it brings to memory a horrid thing I once witnessed...
Fire is no laughing matter, thankfully everyone made it out alive!
This was a thorough and vivid write up. At times it was almost like a column in a newspaper except for the flowing language. I like your use of italics, it really helps seperate some of your thoughts a little better, gives them an edge. All in all you paint such a vivid picture of what happened, I'm still in awe. Great job with your imagery!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
The fear, the concern, the time it took to work out what was going on, are still quite vivid, the sm.. read moreThe fear, the concern, the time it took to work out what was going on, are still quite vivid, the smell of the disaster too, though the scenes feel somewhat more vague, people are alive, and no one died......for this I am grateful :) Thanks Kristen for dropping by.
You did well with the words... and there's nothing better than a happy ending.
*bird*
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
'happy', a relative term, of course, contented that I feel quite adamant that the family have been r.. read more'happy', a relative term, of course, contented that I feel quite adamant that the family have been rehoused and are insured and that they are being supported to restart their lives in a decent home and surroundings. Also that their healing process is life long and precious to them, as ultimately, no single being was hurt, or killed, thank you for this review.
Very striking portrait in words. Glad to hearthese people made it out ok. The lack of space helps convey the calamity. I really dig the focus on smell. People tend to forget to put smells into their writing, and when they do, it always strikes me as quite powerful. Reminds me to appreaciate smell more as an expression of my beingness in temporal space. Thank you!
Wow this was and incredible write, especially because it was a life changing event and i am very grateful and thank God no one lost there life, because fires are serious and hearing those sirens combined with all of the commotion and lights flashing is a eye opener for sure.... The fact that u were able to find the strength to write on this so quickly after it happens is very brave and admirable... And proves that even though tragedies strike that can change our life, we have to feel blessed to know we made it out of the danger zone safely... U did an amazing piece, filled with your own personal experience, feelings and emotions an wove it all together beautifully ... I am very impressed, fantastic work.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you, for such praise, HeavenSunAcradez, I am glad to meet you. Your interpretation of this po.. read moreThank you, for such praise, HeavenSunAcradez, I am glad to meet you. Your interpretation of this poem....
" no one lost there life, because fires are serious and hearing those sirens combined with all of the commotion and lights flashing is a eye opener for sure...." most certainly gives a fuller context to my feelings and experience, "
"And proves that even though tragedies strike that can change our life, we have to feel blessed to know we made it out of the danger zone safely... "
Thank you so very much for such a thorough and thoughtful interpretation of this piece.