HANDS IN CRISIS

POEM

Reluctantly delving in to her dinner plate,

her dry, unkempt,  hands were squat,

muscular, quaint, divulging her troubled,

emotional state, moving conductively

in small figures of eight,

pressing against

                her stomach, inwardly irate, each time

                she flinched to stop to think,

her fingernails were half an inch, the

             size of a medium pinch,  a pinch so fierce,

the skin would pierce, proportioned

evenly, decorated meagrely, she felt

they lacked maybe, aesthetic dignity,

when shoddy, they were  given

adequate attention, cleaned and

buffed, without looking rough,  

ready to undertake any task,

though weeks had passed, a closer

inspection showed her skin was chapped

gaunt, broken, indicating a lack of fluids,

nutrition, circulation,  accentuating

               her dense wrinkles, the bony points of her

               pale knuckles, had she reached

her crisis pinnacle?

She envied almond shaped nails, with

tips that could  boast ample growth,

she missed socialising with folk, her

ability to joke, to  laugh, to strum guitar,

                  when suddenly tense, her hands clenched,

                  fingers  coiling and writhing, with a

                            morosley, peculiar, turbulence,

                                          like beleagured, agitated, serpents...   

Author's Note

feedback would be most appreciated

Reviews

[KAOlmsted]

I just love your style, Sheema...every time I read you I dive head first into your words and just allow myself to float to the end...and then I climb back up and do a forward dive with 3 1/2 somersaults in the pike position, just to show off ;-) and read you again. Never less than twice. Your descriptive poetry is among my favorites, not only on this site, but ever...thanks so much for giving us your gift.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

This is not a poem which I personally was especially taken with, though when writers of your calibre come along and review, I am truly flattered, deep thanks for all of your appreciation, means so much :)

[KAOlmsted]

It's really quite something, Sheema...I am partial to works that take something so simple about a person and elevate it to the level you've elevated those remarkable hands. Be so very proud of this one.

And thank you for that enormous compliment...I'm truly touched and humbled, because when I grow up, I want to be you ;-)

[SHEEMA HUQ]

ha ha !! xx

[KAOlmsted]

;-)

[Bobbie Coelho]

You have used such brilliant imagery, and described this woman's torment very well, I especialy like the end 4 lines

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Oh gosh, I feel blessed to hear from you, thanks, thanks for such a compliment, means a lot to me :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

You have a great style in writing and the structure is always stunning love this.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

I am so glad that this poem also appeals to you Marc, means a lot to me, take care

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Welcome :)

[lee von cleef]

my mood, I must go eat, so many words in this little sack they are bumping the seams, look I see a w, no no a v, Well don't get it wet or it will explode.and a den of snakes will be everywhere.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Hey you - Would have liked to have known how you felt about the poem or whether you felt anything at all, and I feel that the latter may have been the issue given your circumstances, thank you for dropping by though, take care :)

[Tai Ryens]

Wondrous complexity even in the simplest moments of life itself. Your general concept intrigues me, seeing as how this particular moment in time is magnified to pen even the slightest detail, yet the magnitude of the moment still cannot be defined and is in no way close to combating the magnification of the universe. How unpleasant, yet all the more intriguing that we experience infinite details within every second yet we hardly ever acknowledge them.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Thank you Tai for such a thoughtful response, I was I guess highlighting an experience and not an easy one at that, after deliberating the ending a few times, ( I changed it around and still, not entirely satisfied) possibly mirroring her experience Your little tangent, is much appreciated, best

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This was really quite wonderful. I enjoyed reading it. I felt as if "circumvent" might shouldn't have been "circumvented"...it seems oddly placed in the past tense surroundings of other verbs and adjectives. It was not unpleasant...simply...seeming at odds.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Thank you Fabian, I was thinking along the same lines when I included 'cirvumvent', I wondered if someone was going to pick up on this, it is not entirely correct English I believe, you are right, likely to revisit soon, best

[Pax]

now i feel your style really well... you have this incredible way in describing something in a vast array of imagery.... with a very keen insight.... a delightful read my friend...

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Thanks for reviewing Pax, glad that you enjoyed

[David Aiello]

As one who studied film first, I see in light and shadow, color and patina;
this, this is like a good scene exploration, conveying sensations and signs to the expression, she is... sad, in a spot.
I'm sorry, for whatever it is worth, I enjoyed it a great deal, not much literary buffing to be applied.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Thank you David for such kind and insightful words, interesting that you studied Film, your background reflects your astute eye, I look foward to visiting you again soon

[David Aiello]

^____^ you honor me!

[Terohime]

oh wow that was good, keep writing ^^

[SHEEMA HUQ]

hello, thanks deeply for your encouragment :)

[Terohime]

anytime, i write journals, and i would like you to read my first entry.

[SyberRose]

my mothers hands have arthritis in them and my daughters hands are beginning to get it...you have written a sad poem which is heartfelt and touching and My mother can relate to your words as they are so true...SyberRose

[SHEEMA HUQ]

thank you so much for you review, it is interesting to recieve feedback on this one from either poets, sadly with arthitis or yourself, whose motehr suffers with the condition, I am sorry to hear this
My initial intention was to touch on the issues of failing health and crisis and I find that unfortunately, the difficutlies mentioned are much closer to people's lives than I had thought, best

[SHEEMA HUQ]

please forgive me when I'm flagging somewhat, with all due respect I did mean, your Mother, best

[SyberRose]

I completely understand as you penned it to perfection. Nothing wrong with how you wrote it dear.