MANNEQUIN OF SINS

poem

Somewhere.... right at the very back of a basement

storeroom too tightly packed, past the coats and

suits, perched behind the knitwear, lies an aimless,

beige, fake body, a six foot object of a hard plastic

mould, obsolete, cold, still fully clothed, covered

with plastic sheeting, turbulently rustling, with the

fan heating, then enters Carl the newcomer on

probation ... keenly wanting to do some window

display preparation, prior to replenishing the hosiery,

knowing nothing of Mannequin’s ‘doomed notoriety’

; of how he once fell, head first on his face, at the

Town Centre, Fashion Parade; of how a Scotty Dog

once peed against his legs, soiling his pin stripped

trousers; and of how an expensive pair of Italian suede

Loafers, were totally destroyed, by a vomiting local

vagrant called, Rufus. Carl takes a close look at, the

ailing Mannequin’s debauched face, his chipped

chin, lips and nose, the dust gathered on his

shoulders, the creases on his ill matched tie and

shirt, displaying traces of ample dirt, then,......... all of

a sudden,  he hears  a  throbbing  wheeze, a whining

sound,  coming from  Mannequin’s throat and chest,

‘aghast’ he bolts out of the storeroom, only to forget,

the merchandise... to turn off the heating and lights,

as he departs sweating, in terror, startled with fright !

 

Author's Note

feedback would be most welcome

Reviews

[h d e rushin]

I remember being facinated as a boy at the fixed expressions on the faces of
the mannequins. I never could tell if they were happy or sad, lonesome or
fearful.I guess that was the point. To have someone, especially an inquisitive
little boy, interested in the clothes only.

I love the picture you have drawn here with the irony being the discovery
that life does exist sometimes in the lifeless. And in that there is a living
metaphor of pseudo-scientific quality as to the standards of humaness and
decency to those we see in society as less than perfect.

Nicely done.
dana

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Thanks Dana, for your enterprising comments, the sequal might entail a horrific burglary with Mannequin's limbs trapped in a lift door, we shall see..........

[Peter H]

wow this is a great write love the ending it was quite the shocker

[SHEEMA HUQ]

How kind of you to comment and I'm especially pleased about the shock factor at the end, ha ha !!

[Ed Hart]

abandoned womannequins never cough, or fart

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Only you would know Ed! Thanks

[Ed Hart]

only because i've taken so many to dinner

[Just Kim]

oh wow i love the ending of this,
amazing write! very descriptive...

[SHEEMA HUQ]

nice to meet you, dear Poetess and very nice to read your review, thanks kindly

[Just Kim]

not a problem in the world, my friend in words. : )

[Norma M Sutton]

LOL The ending isn't what I expected. I think that would indeed have me dashing from the room.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

ha! Thanks so much Norma

[Pax]

highly descriptive my friend... the imagery runs fast as you tell the story along... the ending was a bit chilling... on what lies beyond in the mannequin's story... its quite scary to find it in the dark corners below the basement... i like this very well written!

[SHEEMA HUQ]

thank you so much dear Pax!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Interesting subject as many people have Difficulty with these false creatures.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

yes, mannaquins do feature in many ghost sories, horror secenarios and and comedies too, i can imagine an 'ARE YOU BEING SERVED SECENE' with Mr Peacock getting tangled up with a dummy....thanks

[Horizon K.]

Very fun read with the surprise creepy ending. Funny how the Mannequin takes a breath, just as he is to be discovered and prevents being hauled out for another awful experience...

Makes me think of the strange house next door with a creepy decrepit tuxedo and tophat - wearing mannequin on their porch... And how when they sold the house they tried to sell the mannequin in the estate sale... I wonder if that mannequin has a new home now...

[SHEEMA HUQ]

I seem to be collecting Mannequin stories from reviewers and it's a pleasure, thanks very much Horizon K

[Distant horizons]

This brings back memories of the younger me. My first jobwas as a mannequin restorer, and I will admit, that walking into a factory with hundreds of mannequins, and a voice shouting over here" made me jump out my skin :-)
And i agree with jacobs comment also :-)

[SHEEMA HUQ]

good of you to comment Just Lorry, I might have to do a sequel

[Distant horizons]

:-)

[roarke]

I like this kind of writing, the moments that string together one by one, the invisible prose and art that hold the reality and sanity of life by a fateful thread.

Stands as is, or now becomes the jump off point of more of the story. You decide. We'll stand by.

Nice writing.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Thank you very much Roarke, I shall return the favour soon