SIMPLY WATER

2 SHORT POEMS

 

Swirling Relief

 

Quietly watching

the many generous gliding

ripples of water, flow

across a rocky bedded,

clear stream,

constant and shallow,

as this continuum

of relentless,

intricate gushes

slither a thousand

minuscule

hushes

....

 

 

Manic Waves

 

north sea breaker

  pounds the shore

an overcast of

greyish-blue haze

hovers across

 the fierce storm,

scouring it’s

forceful will

over winter’s

drenched door,

as the bed beneath

the chaotic sea

tears away

seaweed,

erratically....

casting them as

lifeless,

piles of debris.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Riley]

It's like two pieces, or movements, in one poem.
The first half I found extremely affective and I enjoyed it greatly.

I also enjoyed the second half, too. Conjuct the Swirling Relief, Manic Waves moodiness and turmoil is all the more.

An arty and intelligent work.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

great to hear from you Riley, and such an encouraging review, thank you, see you soon

[Hotwater]

Magnetic reading... how attractive to the eyes these two little gems are.

*bird*

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Thank you so very much Hotwater!

[Mary E Green]

Great enticing piece- love that I felt the connection to the human experience within these lines! And, I experienced both the stream and ocean. Beautiful!

[SHEEMA HUQ]

I'm pleased you liked these
thanks ever so much Mary

[Mary E Green]

Your welcome Sheema! I needed this piece, missing these sights right now, covered in snow :)

[Krithika Raghavan]

Love your usage of different styles of writing, using bold and italics in the proper places to enhance the meaning... Beautiful;-)

[SHEEMA HUQ]

HI Krithika
very nice to meet you and thanks ever so much for such a great review!

[Pax]

wow, the format amaze me...and the words surprise me...
this is simply great!

[SHEEMA HUQ]

such a compliment to recieve this super review from you Pax, thank a milion

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Like two separate poems with a beautiful contrast between the two bodies of water. Both vivid in their descriptions

[SHEEMA HUQ]

I'm pleased you related to both poems John, comments much appreciated

[Thy joke on me]

I like the carmen figuratum as well as the flow of words, which emulates the flow of water. I also like 'Manic Waves'. Good job. :)

[SHEEMA HUQ]

thanks for your comments, i felt that 'Manic Waves' was rather less emotive

[michael.c.m]

"Manic Waves" made me remember storms I've sailed in, and the metaphor far beyond the waves. Excellent.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

ah ha, you again, thank so much Michael

[Adam Whitworth]

nice poims, particularly the first one

[SHEEMA HUQ]

thanks Adam for your kind review

[Frieda P]

Wow, reading this actually took me down a notch, I feel more tranquil, you should bottle this! Nice format, it goes with the flow. Unique!

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Hi Frieda, I really appreciate your response....thanks so much for passing by

[Frieda P]

Please was all mine Sheema...

[Frieda P]

ha pleasure, I need sleep, sorry!

[MOON]

Lovely depiction like the quiet and the stom. Lovely !

[SHEEMA HUQ]

thank you dear Moon, belated new year greetings to you, speak again sometime soon