WITHIN 2 HOURS

Within 2 Hours:

She had soaked some split-pea lentils in water for the

evening curry; made herself a cup of Darjeeling in a hurry;

booked overdue appointments with the opticians and dental

surgery; stopping then at the cash point to check the receipt and

content of her warehouse packer salary; noticing on the late

September trees, clumsily swirling leaves of amber-burgundy;

she shopped for the weekly groceries, avoiding the influx

of seasonal fruit and vegetables of tempting, fresh varieties,

including, quince, damsons, fennel, artichokes and chicory.

Returning home to see a skin afloat across her stone

cold tea, she spoke in fluent Bengali to 4 members of her

family, respectively, across thirty rivers and seven seas.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Sugar Plum ♥]

your style is so original as explaines so much and keeps the main point in the end ! i loved the busy e every-day picture and all actions, so full of movements and impressions 2 hours only! make me realize how many things could be done for more, even...the end made me imagine the person, who speaks fluent Bengali to her family... so funny and totally real image! i can say u see the reality in a "fantasy" way.
no♥r ~

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Hi Nina, your indepth thoughts are really interesting to read, thanks ever so much and I wish you a good week.

[Ed Hart]

i believe you are as fearless in person as you are with your pen

[SHEEMA HUQ]

thank you Ed, I see, i shall contrue this as 'encouragement'

[MOON]

The incidental things of the day that takes so much time , you infuse it with culture and meaning and colour.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

glad to hear from you again Moon, thanks for this, and i hope you are one good form

[Cherrie Palmer]

nice use of time, I liked moving through her day; it was full of color and smells and tightly wrapped in a fluent accent, and at lass a moments peace.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Hi, thanks Cherrie, she might be one of those "i've forgotten to eat today " characters at her pace of life

[Marie]

She was a busy, busy person wasn't she? Yet she still had time to notice the September trees.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Autumn has very defined characterisics don't you think ?...thanks

[Marie]

Yes it does. And it impressed me that this busy woman took time out of her busy day to look at it.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Very nice description of a packed few hours in a working mother's day. It flowed very well and was an easy and descriptive resd.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

your good constuctive feedback is much appreciated John

[Dr. Wood ?]

quite brilliant in its delivery....It WOULD make for an excellent opening paragraph..But it also makes a wonderful poem

[SHEEMA HUQ]

cor! a spicey, indegestion free thanks to you!

[Dr. Wood ?]

Just don't start on the oatmeal curries....It does not wok

[TLK]

Yay! Prose poetry!
The rhyme scheme is subtle and unintrusive. It is made far more beautiful by eschewing normal line-breaks, as the feeling of the rhyming washes over you without it having to be exaggerated by lines that place the rhyme at the end (which would give it the wrong emphasis). The rhythms are all close, without being perfect, which makes it feel like the 'stretchy' time of a normal day where some things rush by and some things take an age.

The ending feels like a short pause, an intake of breath. I can imagine this running on forever.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

thanks TLK, indeed, it sort of sounds like the beginning of a novel....

[Muse]

What a clever prose. A unique take on one's daily thoughts and activities. The mundane things we all take for granted...running errands...making appointments...cooking...living...eating....you breathed new life in all of this. Nice work!

Muse

[SHEEMA HUQ]

that's a really nice thing to say Muse, i didn't know how this one would be recieved to be honest, thanks

[Muse]

I put humor on the mundane. Need a chuckle? Read my Welcome Home poem. lol