WITHIN 2 HOURS

Within 2 Hours:

She had soaked some split-pea lentils in water for the

evening curry; made herself a cup of Darjeeling in a hurry;

booked overdue appointments with the opticians and dental

surgery; stopping then at the cash point to check the receipt and

content of her warehouse packer salary; noticing on the late

September trees, clumsily swirling leaves of amber-burgundy;

she shopped for the weekly groceries, avoiding the influx

of seasonal fruit and vegetables of tempting, fresh varieties,

including, quince, damsons, fennel, artichokes and chicory.

Returning home to see a skin afloat across her stone

cold tea, she spoke in fluent Bengali to 4 members of her

family, respectively, across thirty rivers and seven seas.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Sugar Plum ♥]

your style is so original as explaines so much and keeps the main point in the end ! i loved the busy e every-day picture and all actions, so full of movements and impressions 2 hours only! make me realize how many things could be done for more, even...the end made me imagine the person, who speaks fluent Bengali to her family... so funny and totally real image! i can say u see the reality in a "fantasy" way.
no♥r ~

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Hi Nina, your indepth thoughts are really interesting to read, thanks ever so much and I wish you a good week.

[Thy joke on me]

This is very nice. :)

[SHEEMA HUQ]

nice one, thanks!

[AYVID N]

A woman is all about great multi-tasking and and here she does it like poetry in motion. Beautifully written.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Oh hello you again! Thank you very much indeed and I shall see you soonish to review again :)

[KAOlmsted]

At the risk of sounding simple: I like this. I don't know what else to say. I really don't. I like this. I can't put my thoughts into any more complex detail without sounding vague. I like this. I. Like. This. Period.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Indepth commentry not necessary, I'm just thankful for your review!

[KAOlmsted]

I really really liked it ;-)

[DrD]

Many people write of events and some include detail. You write in concepts and it becomes more intriguing with each visit. I enjoy my visits with you and hope to return soon. This is excellent work.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Thanks for your thoughtful words DrD

[Anniebugg]

There aren't a lot of poems that run this particular structure. I think most of us are used to x number of lines that make up a stanza followed by a break and then continuing along the same pattern. This arrangement is circular; that is, it ends where it began and seems to break the rules of traditional poetry (although poetry really can not be labeld as traditional because of all the variations). At any rate, I enjoyed the change of pace from what I have been reading.
That said, at first I was disappointed in the story itself. I thought "so?" what's the point? And then I read it again and realized I learned more about this woman in these few lines than most stories and poems confess. She likes tea and split pea soup, and she's frugal. Even though she's tempted by fresh fruit, vegetables and herbs, they're not affordable because she has a menial job. Plus she has to make sure there is enough cash to pay the bills. She uses her time wisely, even making sacrifices (she didn't get to enjoy her morning tea). She likely doesn't live in India anymore (I think that's where they speak Bengali?), but has moved to Britian or the U.S. And she has a family. That's a lot of information packed in there. I especially liked the atmosphere I felt as she went about her daily activities. It seemed that she was happy, satisfied with her life. She enjoyed the fall colors.. a very nice addition to the story. I felt as if I were walking right along side her. Nice descriptions. Very well done, Sheema. I will definitely have to look at some more of your writings.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

I sensed your healthy ambivilance in the beginning, thanks for such an elaborate review Anniebugg

[Mic]

Absolutely enchanting. The fluidity deceptively harnesses the detail, so it doesn't read as a grocery list. Perfect ending as well. Have seen many attempts at such on here... they should be led to this one.

Very well done!

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Hi Mic, nice to meet you, I'm pleasantly suprised by the responses tothis poem, to be honest, particularly rave reviews such as yours....what a booster. This was just one of those writes that I personally was not too totally confident about, which is why I'm so chuffed, cheers.

[Bobbie Coelho]

I like this

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Thank you Bobbie

[michael.c.m]

I love this. Like a whirlwind and anchored by thirty rivers and seven seas, the pause to notice the season - indeed all here is the verbal eloquence of a teacup tempest.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Splendid,thanks Michael, I'm glad that you liked. I do hope all is going okay with you adn your health, and that you are taking care, I shall write to you soon, best wishes.

[Audrey Howitt]

I love your style--in this an in your other pieces--subtle, well-crafted and a great sense of imagery!

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Thanks kindly Audrey