FUCHSIA CHILD

 

 

 

          Trespassing child of seven, enters a mysterious neighbour’s front garden

equipped with besotted determination, she convolutedly aims  to  realise again, 

her unique, personal,  sensory  interpretation of HEAVEN:-

            Initially she notices the shoddy Victorian terraced patio, with chipped

dark flecks on the  off-white facia wall,  two to three undercoat shades

are exposed beneath the peeling, weather worn exterior door

           She sees, also, a straggling, scallop edged, curtain net of dirty grey, 

suspended mercilessly low from the bleak, unkempt bayonet window.

            An ominous whiff of drainage descends, arousingly trounced, by the flimsy

magnolia trellised fence of 8 metre length, bearing the summery-sweet,

linger of honeysuckle scent.

          One by one, she collects each fallen rose petal of peach-white,

avoiding the prickly thorns of heinous might, threatening a ripped

school skirt with bloodshed of vengeful spite.

At last she reaches with magnanimous composure, the concealed

 fully flowered shrub of Fuchsias:

           Ah  Fuchsias of glowing green foliage and tall arched stems; that

contrast graciously with the delicate centres of tiny long, cerise tubular, clusters.

Encased by the bowl-shaped, main flowers of startling deep violet

petal-wafers, surrounded with  boarders of penetrating vibrant magenta.

           Ah  Fuchsias, that provide tender  escapism from her troubled

home situation; her parents’ sordid relationship problems;

their alternate bought of jealousy,  fractious patterns of gravitating rivalry.

callus reactions,  and  scornful mockery,  causing her tearful,  

chaotic, confused melancholy.

           She becomes immersed into  playful fantasy as she visualises, shimmering

 flame- ruby jewelled crowns worn by garden princesses,

ornate fairy wands  used by pagan empresses, exotic celebratory lanterns,

dangling shadowy patterns,  over daintily arranged, ladles  of porcelain, filled

with Ribena and jubilee cherry drinks,  at a festival of secret whims.

           Ouch! shhh shhh…as she sways and twirls, her foot hits a loose

paving stone. She must escape and reduce her tone, before the unknown home

dweller, calls 999, mistaking her for a burglar, she hastily  bids goodbye to the

fascinating flowers , too precious to pick, take home, and savour during

her finest hour.        

Author's Note

print by Ann Bridges

Reviews

[Edmund S. Obumba]

hi!!
sorry I've been offline for a while..
Sheema,id only wish to someday have such a mastery of this beautiful art like you do.
you have this way with words that captivates the reading and keeps him/her glued to your work seething for more!
What else do I say?
ROYAL PIECE OF WORK!

[SHEEMA HUQ]

How encouraging, very nice to hear from you Edmund with such a acolade of a review, I'm truly flattered Sir! Thanks very much.

[Joann Conkey]

Beautiful!

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Thanks so much Joann!

[.]

AMAZING, TRULY AMAZING! Loved the poem! 100/100 :D

[SHEEMA HUQ]

thank you for such astounding remarks Katerina, i'm really grateful to you

[.]

You're welcome! :)

[Anna Auel]

An ambitious attempt at using description to illustrate a person's life story--I wasn't optimistic at how well it would pan out, but was pleasantly surprised that I managed to snatch at a mental picture of the little girl and was left wanting more of her and her secret hideaway.

I think my favorite sections are the last two; they best demonstrate the balance you achieve between description and story-telling. You use some lovely language, which I appreciated. Perhaps bringing in some more of the girl herself and some grittiness to help balance out the beauty of the flowers would help expose the human aspect of the piece.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

thanks for the tips Anna

[Fabio_Cassilias]

i really had to delve into this piece.
i like the way you explain certain details quite vivid, so i can actually see and imagin while i'm reading,i liked it and it's very well writting..Keep up Dear..:D

[SHEEMA HUQ]

lovely comments again, Fabio, thanks thanks, i should think that you are now a new father and I congratulate you! take care

[Fabio_Cassilias]

Few more weeks actually but can't hardly wait.
i'll let u know as soon litlle one pops out..:D it's a girl Sheema

[SHEEMA HUQ]

nice one...please do!

[Richard Lane]

Well I will say that I like the fact that you have written both of those elements in quite aptly and this is one of my favourite paragraphs of what I already think of as a a great story.
"She becomes immersed into playful fantasy as she visualises, shimmering
flame- ruby jewelled crowns worn by garden princesses,
ornate fairy wands used by pagan empresses, exotic celebratory lanterns,
dangling shadowy patterns, over daintily arranged, ladles of porcelain, filled
with Ribena and jubilee cherry drinks, at a festival of secret whims."
I love this and I don't think you have to change anything and the story you have told here is an excellent story in my opinion and that it is an empowering story to read.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

thanks Richard for such a thorough and generous review, I am ever so chuffed

[lee von cleef]

Me again,your fuchsias need a more "human " quality, a warm empowering,a supportive giving,a unconditional love, the environment that sets her spirit free from her home life. who am I, maybe don't tell us show us ? I have used up my eyes a larger font. thank you in advance.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

larger font would change the format wildly but i shall bare the rest of your comments in mind...watch this space and big appreciation!

[lee von cleef]

Alright I will go out to the truck and get my glasses , I forgot them when I got stuck in the creek last night, about two miles away. don't worry the suns shining now.

[Dean]

nice synthesis of poetic prose here---Enjoyed.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

thank you very much Dean

[lee von cleef]

the detail detective ,So much to see that most just pass by,more education then I was prepared for, but I do need schooling, what I have given for a hour in the garden,then back to the emotional blender.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

cool, i thought that some of the sentences might be too long and you might have picked up on these matter, any tips to improve, please do let me know Lee, big thanks

[Cherrie Palmer]

First off the poem is amazing, it captures a child’s curiosity for this beautiful safe haven and then re-directs the reader to what she needs a haven from.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

much oblidged Cherrie